Try some; it's good.
Wherein I ramble about books, movies,
music, TV shows, my life, and occasionally, hot emo boys.
My Books
Current WiP
My ValentineGuide sequel = DONE
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I am, I said
I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still
I am single-minded.
Others might use different words. O-C might come up, for instance, if someone knew me really well. I don't suffer from Monk-levels of neuroses, but I definitely have my quirks.
For instance, with comments? I like to have even numbers on my comments at all times. Unless, of course, the comment ends in five, in which case, it's all right. Don't ask me why. But if the number ends in nine that bugs me, and I'll have to comment myself in order to bring it up to the next set of numbers. 29? No way. Gotta be 30. Same with 19. Bugs. Me. But 15 or 25? That's fine. I can let that go.
I also can't post my own comments back to back. If I think of something else to say, or I notice I accidentally missed someone who commented before me, I have two choices. I can delete my own comment and re-write it. Or I can wait for someone else to comment. If it's a pressing need, I do the first thing. Otherwise I just bide my time.
Another instance, I fiddle with paragraphs on my blog until they look just right. I delete words if I wind up with a widow. (One word by itself on a line) I'm driven slowly insane by owning two different computers. If it looks awesome on my Ibook, it's probably fucked up on my desktop downstairs. *headdesk*
(I know, right? I'm... quirky).
Anyway, back to being single-minded. In some respects, this is a good thing. It gives me the ability to cleave to a project until it's finished. It gave me the determination to stick with writing, no matter what anyone else said, or how grim my prospects looked.
But in other ways, it's not so good. Because say I fix on a need to do something (whether it's buy new shoes, open a bank account, get a cat, hire a publicist), then it's all but impossible for me to shift gears until I get that one thing taken care of. It preys on me. I think about it. I try to figure out ways I can get this thing done to the exclusion of all else.
Everything doesn't hit me like that, though. I mean, I can say, "We need milk and eggs," without immediately fixating and trying to scheme ways to get milk and eggs at midnight. So I don't know what the trigger is: why I obsess over some things and not others.
For instance, when I decided I wanted this blog redone... my web designer had a personal issue, and said there would be some delay before she could get to it. I totally understood. I'm not a heartless harpy. But the thing is...
I. Could. Not. Wait.
Once I made up my mind I wanted a new design, I fiddled and fiddled until I figured it out myself. I couldn't write, suddenly, because I was thinking about my blog template. How could I fix it? What could I do to make it look better? Was there any way I could do it myself?
I hate waiting on other people. Does that make me a control freak? It's not that I mind paying to have work done; I just hate having stuff out of my hands. And I hate not having it done right when I want it. I don't particularly like what that says about me, but I own it.
Being a mom means multi-tasking. Y'all know that, I'm sure. It means checking homework, reading books, looking at projects, checking supplies, making dinner, and what the hell did the dog do now? Given my single-minded bent, this is often hard for me. I have one thing on my mind and I don't honestly give a shit about the 1000 other things that need to be taken care of. Why? Because I work in a linear fashion. I don't make lists, but if I did, I'd want to work through them in order.
The older I get, the more weird shit I see in myself. (I'm starting to like Neil Diamond, for instance. Gawd. One day, I might be rocking out to Engelbert Humperdink in my polyester double-knit jumpsuit. Sigh.) I don't go around touching light posts or washing my hands compulsively, but I think I'm definitely west of normal. What about y'all? I can't be the only one with weird habits. So spill it!
Labels: Random Tuesday
But that single-mindedness -- I definitely have it. Just yesterday, I decided to get the EBW Librarian for my e-books, and I could not move on to other things until I solved all the technical problems that came up to foil me. H.E. complained because he wanted to eat, but I wouldn't even sit down for a meal until I worked it all out and got it up and running.
I'm glad I did, though, because I'm finally reading Boundless. I just finished your story this morning, actually, and LOVED IT. :)
I don't have trouble walking away from projects--sometimes. It depends. I know I'll get back to it and don't mind leaving it sit for a while. My husband, on the other hand, has to do a job from start to finish and beyond. He can't break for lunch and get back to it. That drives me buggy.
So I guess I'm a mix of sometimes being single-minded and other times not so much.
BTW, you do know that now I'll be tempted to comment every time I notice you're up to 28, 38, 48 comments... *g*
And Neil Diamond? Good lord!
Bonnie, you're lucky, dude. I wish I could pick up and put down, but I really need to do my drafts uninterrupted. Write 3K a day for 30 days and I have a book. Too much interruption and I am fucked.
Kat, I strongly endorse the Ibook. I bought mine used on Mercado Libre, and I loved so much that when the harddrive crashed three months later, I made my husband locate a repair shop called Todo Para Tu Mac in order to repair it. For about 3000 pesos (300 bucks) they put in a new hd and upgraded my RAM, and adorable little thing has been purring along ever since.
And if it ever breaks, I won't get anything else. I'll just have the part replaced.
My husband jokes that I'll wind up with nothing left of the original Ibook, just the casing, and that's fine with me. I just LOVE the way it looks, the size, everything about it.
I hear the MacBook is really nice, but it's a little bigger than my Ibook, so I'm not switching. Andres tried to tempt me with a new MacBook so he didn't have to drive all over the city looking for the repair shop, but I would not be swayed. I heart my Ibook!
I am so obsessive that when my little guy lost one of the cars from his car collection I couldn't rest until it was found. He must have a complete set.
I'm just as fanatical about my writing. Once I start a chapter I have to finish it, even if it's total crap.
Okay, I'll stop there. I think we're all nuttier than all get out, but it's kinda cute.
I bought my Ibook on Mercado Libre, as I said, which is like Ebay / Mexico. We wired the guy the money and then he shipped it to us via Estafeta (in-country parcel service).
It worked fine and then something happened to the harddrive. I think it may have overheated. It was just insanely hot around the time that it broke, and we don't have aircons. Heck, most of the time we don't even need fans; that's how wonderful the climate is. If you're cold, you put on sweater, shut the window, or get a blanket (or all three).
So after my Ibook broke (and I was disconsolate), he was like, "We'll get a new one, honey. How about one of those adorable little LGs? They weigh less than 3 pounds."
And I was like, "NO. I want this fixed."
"How about a new MacBook, honey? There's a Mac store at the mall."
"NO. I want this fixed."
This went on for like two weeks, off and on.
"Honey, I don't know of anywhere that fixes Macs."
"I don't care. I'll find a repair shop."
And I did. I looked it up in the directory. But we didn't know where the hell it was.
He wound up taking a morning off work and we drove around for TWO hours trying to locate the place.
In conclusion, my husband lurves me. Which is good, cos I really can be a pain in the ass.
Gwyneth
For instance, when I was working on titles for the novel formerly known as Good Touch, I couldn't seem to think of anything else. Now that I've subbed a list, I can move on.
I count stuff a lot, too. I'm able to re count things because I forget how many they are. It helps me carry heavy groceries to my apartment, too, for some reason. I think it's because the closer I get to the final number means I'm closer to getting home and being done with unpacking.
But I love numbers more than I love writing and I weirdly combine them. Like I'll count the lines on a page and estimate the average of words in each line, while going through font sizes. I count the letters in words and try to come up with ways to make other numbers by using factors of the total sum to come up with new numbers.
...That sounds incredibly OCD-like.
Also, I'm just commenting to bring the number of comments to eleven. ;P
You knew I couldn't let that stand, right? There's a reason I get emails anytime someone comments on my blog.
Someone has to keep the numbers even! Won't you please think of the comments?
That, and I like to keep my finger on the blog pulse so I can give y'all my immediate attention.
(That sounded good, right?)
I have a friend who takes it a step further than me and she doesn't like to handle handle odd amounts of money either, so she pays her bills in even numbers. Money doesn't bug me for some reason.
Just blog comments.
Four minutes. :O
On the change thing...I hate not having *exact* change.
Like, if I have it to a tee, it's wonderful in my life. Birds are singing and flowers are blooming.
But then I lose a penny in between the seat and I feel horribly betrayed by the world.
In the end, I'm trying to learn how to let the frustration go. Sometimes I succeed.
The worst thing, for me, is starting a project, and then being forced by deadlines to switch to another project. I can usually write the second one, no problem, but when I have to go back to the thing I abandoned, I have zero inclination to work on it.
Except despite the fact that I'm a day late for the conversation, I had to drop a comment to bring it up to an even number. ;-)
I've always got a bazillion things floating around in the "I gotta get to this someday" section of my brain. But, once one of those little buggers randomly gets locked and loaded into the "I want to do this NOW" slot, it becomes my obsession until I've worked it to death.
Right now, I keep batting away the "I need to redecorate the den" floater and the "I need to create a blog index" floater. But that damn blog index idea keeps trying to slip into the "Do it NOW" slot and I don't know how much longer I can hold it off.
Oh, and I'm another one that cannot STAND for my hands to be dirty. Purell is my BFF. Shopping makes them feel the dirtiest, and some stores, like the evil Wally World, have me pulling out the Purell before I even get to my car-- even if I touched nothing in the store!
Hmmm... I'm comment number 19... watcha gonna do about it?
*pokes at your obsession*
(That's what I'm gonna do about it!)
That's too funny, Erica. I don't really count tangibles.
*watches Erica run off to tinker with her comments*
*Looks completely innocent while admiring the rising number of comments*
No, it's a quirk. Really.
The HEADER?! You don't like my HEADER?! Ah shit, now I'll have to obsess over that in addition to designing a blog INDEX.
Oops! And it was such a nice even 25, wasn't it? Oh, gee. So sorry.
I also make lists and check them off as I go. All kinds of lists - grocery lists, project lists, picture lists, stuff to collect from ebay lists... you can imagine a ton of others. If I don't have something to organize, I'll go find something to organize.
I also wash my hands compulsively. Really, I do. It bugs the shit out of my husband, baffles my oldest son, and my doctor has told me to stop it because my hands stay too dry all the time now. BUT... We all know I'm not going to stop. I like clean hands. And lotion is just too darn cheap. Heh.
And now when you answer me you're comments will be an even 30 ;)
That'd be so awesome!
I'm gonna get t-shirts for my crew that say "Don't get mad, get even" on them. And we'll be the only ones who know what it means!