Editors are awesome people.
They have minds that work utterly unlike my own. They notice such pesky details as, “Manhattan doesn’t have a 54th Avenue” and “Whatever happened to the glass of iced tea Ellie was carrying around?”
To which I respond airily, “I write my novels in accordance with the Carrell principle of truthiness, truth unencumbered by the facts.”
Generally, I am then rewarded with a laugh and an instruction to do a little research and make my book agree with consensual reality. Did I mention that I hate research? Yet I never stint on it. I took a trip to NY when I was writing Guide. I made notes, visited all the locations I intended to use in the book. Clearly I didn’t get everything right, though. That’s why editors are so great!
I’ve done the wackiest things in the name of research. There was the great diet experiment and sperm taste-off of ’06, for instance. Just recently, I read a study that listed lavender and pumpkin pie as having the greatest effect on penile blood flow in men (40% increase!). So I did what any sane author would do. I went to Sensia and ordered a bottle of each from Demeter. Last night I put on both scents in place of my usual CK Escape. It’s a bit strong, so if you repeat my research, use it sparingly. I’m going to log how it affects my man and if it affects random passersby for that matter (although judging 40% penile increase by crotch-staring may earn me a weird reputation). Still I think it’s worthwhile. Anything for science.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve done in the name of research? This question isn’t just for writers. Think back to your college days.
I am so not going to ask what the sperm taste-off ’06 is!
Hmm, its been my experience that pumpkin pie decreases penile blood flow 100%…or is that the turkey that precedes the pie?
Crotch staring sounds promising…do they ship that stuff to ‘da far nord’? :)
I dabbled in speech pathology before I decided instead of deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up, I’d prefer just not to grow up. We were issued a challenge to stutter for an entire weekend and take notes on reactions and prompts we may be offered.
Its damn hard to stutter on purpose, and most people thought I was either drunk or retarded…hmm, I may have actually been drunk.
Yeah, they’ll ship to Canada I’m sure. It came from NJ and they sent it to Mexico.
Wow, that sounds funny. I had a friend who stuttered and people did treat like he was stupid because of it. Terrible shame, he was a nice guy.
I have mostly dabbled with the ‘how would I do that if I were tied up with X substance’ thing. Which requires contortions to do sometimes and most of the time gets no farther than planning stages.
Thankfully.
Hee!
I tried the “unbutton his pants with my teeth” thing. It actually does work, but it’s really slow and not nearly as hot as some writers have tried to make it sound. It just takes too long and sort of ruins the mood. It’s a lot sexier just to rip those suckers off with your hands.
Agree re: teeth on zipper way too time consuming. Sounds much better in theory than in practice. (Same with substituting honey when you’re fresh out of whipped cream–your bellies end up stuck together like flies to fly paper and trust me… that ain’t sexy.)
lainey says: I am so not going to ask what the sperm taste-off ’06 is!
OK, I’ll bite… tell all! =)
Basically, I put my guy on a diet of juices and fruit and special food to see if it changed the flavor of his sperm.
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