Ann Aguirre

There are any number of things that make it impossible for me to write: the dog barking nonstop at the cats, the cats yowling at each other, the kids acting like absolute prats. Whenever I’m trying to work, the smaller denizens of the house sense it and then they conspire to go batshit simultaneously at the worst possible time.

That’s not what I intended to blog about today, however. I’m noticing I don’t want to surf to writer blogs lately. Why? Because of the constant deconstruction of the process. How do you do (X)? How can we make (X) better? For me, writing is magic; it’s not a mechanical process. And for me to think about the nuts and bolts that make the machine run, well, it’s like telling a bumblebee he is not aerodynamic enough to fly. The poor bastard’s first reaction is, “Huh? What?” and then he plummets to earth. Logic, once applied to magic, cannot be undone.

My writing is like that poor bumblebee. I don’t know how it works; it just does. It’s lovely, sparkly, and I don’t think about the process. In fact, I shouldn’t think about the process. Because now that I have been, I’m finding it hard to write. I second-guess myself more than I used to. I need to go back to the old ways, where I simply listen to whatever the characters have to say and write it down. That’s truly all I do, and it works for me, profoundly.

I’m not a reviser. I either sell my product or I don’t. Once a work is contracted, my editor will tell me what changes to make, and if the book doesn’t sell, all the revisions in the world probably aren’t going to make a difference. All that accomplishes is to eradicate an author’s unique voice, ruthlessly squelched by endless critique rounds. Your crit partners are well-intentioned, but unless they are bestselling authors, they don’t have any more idea what sells than you do. They have opinions, of course, but so does everyone. Too much interference will kill the muse.

Mine is sickly, poor thing. And so I’m not going to read blogs where they talk about the best way to do this or that. Or how do I do such and such? I can’t analyze it. When you dissect something, you find out how it works, sure, but you no longer have a dynamic, vital entity. Just ask the poor frog floating in Formaldehyde.

Why? Check this out.

The 2.3-square-km Longshuihu village in the Shuangqiao district of Chongqing municipality, also known as “women’s town,” was based on the local traditional concept of “women rule and men obey,” a tourism official told Reuters.

“Traditional women dominate and men have to be obedient in the areas of Sichuan province and Chongqing, and now we are using it as an idea to attract tourists and boost tourism,” the official, surname Li, said by telephone.

“We welcome investors from overseas and nationwide to invest in our project,” he added. The motto of the new town would be “women never make mistakes, and men can never refuse women’s requests,” Chinese media have reported.

When tour groups enter the town, female tourists would play the dominant role when shopping or choosing a place to stay, and a disobedient man would be punished by “kneeling on an uneven board” or washing dishes in restaurant, media reports said.

How awesome is that? Women rule and men obey.

I also want to point out the modification to my template, which I did myself. To your left toward the bottom of the sidebar, you will see two buttons. One is pink and black and reads Blogroll. The other is purple and reads Thursday 13. When you click those buttons, the blogroll for each appears. The first is my personal blogroll. Just say something in comments if you want me to add you, or you can drop me an email. The other is the TT blogroll, which I’m told I have to display somewhere on my blog. Since both blogrolls were long and ran all the way down to the bottom, I changed the template to make them expand and collapse. So if you’re wondering where my blogroll went or what’s with the buttons, there you have it.

That’s enough for Odd Friday, I think. Have a great weekend, everyone.

Thirteen Things you probably didn’t know about me 1. Even though I don’t craft, I’m totally into people who do. I special order my soap from a woman who makes homemade bars with luscious fragrances. My favorite so far is the Pumpkin Spice. 2. I collect stained glass pieces and scented candles. 3. I enjoy wasting time on Ebay, looking for unique handcrafted items. I want a distressed, vintage suitcase that has something unique painted on it. I believe they call this shabby-chic. 4. I lust for purses and handbags the way some women jones for shoes. I just bought a homemade bag from a lady in the UK. The faux fur looks like pink and white cowhide and it’s lined in black satin. I’m going to tote my Ibook around in it. 5. This is my dog, Daisy. She’s part basset hound, part dachsund, and she’s okay. A few weeks back, her stitches tore, but she’s healing fine and driving us all crazy. 6. Daisy is my husband’s bitch, and she gets really riled up when he kisses me. 7. I have two male mixed Siamese cats, named Don Quixote and Dulcineo. We thought at first that Dulce was a girl because he had really small testicles. Turns out they’re both male, but I think Dulce is gay because he’s always humping his brother. 8. My first designer handbag was DKNY. 9. My favorite purse is by Coach. 10. I want a Juicy bag, a pink velour thing that’s over the top girlie. I don’t care, I want it anyway. 11. I have a Prada bag I’ve never used. 12. I prefer quirky vintage bags that I am sure I will never find on anyone else’s arm. 13. I totally covet this bag (it’s a pineapple!) and don’t you think it would be awesome for the beach? But I think Andres might hurt me if I bought it.

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Since I don’t want to become one of those authors who is all “me, me, me” all the time, I’m giving ya’ll the floor. What do you need help with, right now? No, I’m not coming to dig the gunk out of your garbage disposal and scrape the Playdoh off your dining room wall. But if you need help with something in your writing life (or your personal life for that matter, for you non-writers), then I’m all ears today.

Put your quandary in comments and I’ll try to help.

random link — Looking for a new web template, but don’t have a lot of money to spend? Well, I think I may have an option for you. Check this thing out. My non-technical mind boggles at how they achieved this. A new template every time you refresh it? Generated randomly? Theoretically, with a little patience, you might stumble across a very cool template, which they explain how to use for your own site, here. I could see how this would be an easy way to make (or update) your own website. Keep clicking until you get a design you like, save the code, and then start tailoring it to your needs. Maybe add a few pictures and a header… how cool is that?

random update — After much contemplation, conversation with my husband, and consideration of your sage advice, I’m now writing Touch and Go. I’m supposed to work up a series overview soon. I gather that’s like a synopsis for each book? But how long? A page? Two? Three? I’ve never done anything like this before, and given the fact that I don’t write synopsises… synopses? WTF-ever. Before I write a book, I’m not sure how I’m going to manage this. If anyone has experience with this kind of thing, please guide me, I’m begging you.

I’m so excited about this series for reasons I probably shouldn’t discuss yet. If you’re really curious email me. Otherwise, I don’t have a lot to report. Falling is still on submission in NY with various editors, and Touch and Go is flowing really well.

random searches — Here are some random ones that made me laugh or made me go “Huh?”

plot holes + Nora Roberts
Why did that lead to my blog? I’m pretty sure I never discussed that.

gerard butler – naked butt – images
Well, I can’t blame you for trying, but I don’t have any.

banana sucking contest
What a great idea! For my next context, I’ll make the entrants take a pic of themselves sucking a banana and post a link to the image in comments. No? Maybe not.

sperm props for Poser
WTF? What does that even mean?

hilary sares likes submission
Uhm. I hope this means she enjoys someone’s manuscript, and not that she has a crazy stalker looking for BDSM fan-fiction about her.

random endorsement — Monk. I love this show. Just finished watching season four on DVD, and the love story they’ve written between Adrian and his deceased wife, Trudy, is one of the most poignant I’ve ever seen on television. In most series’s, I would be impatient for him to have a love interest, but I’m not sure I could accept it if he had one, now. He’s Trudy’s man, and it doesn’t matter that she’s gone. He will never, ever stop loving her. *sniffs* I’m getting verrklempt just thinking about it. *waves hands* Talk amongst yourselves.

This is a mini-rant, mixed with a whine. So cut yourself a slice of your favorite cheese and listen up.

First of all, who the hell does Google (and other websites) think they are? I’m sick and tired of having my preferences changed without my consent. It seems like every time I click to a site, they decide I want all my content in Spanish because they recognize my ISP is out of Mexico. Yes, I live in Mexico, but it doesn’t mean I want all my online content in Spanish. Why don’t they give me a choice about it? Or better yet, let me change it myself, if I need it done. Fact of the matter is, I do okay in Spanish, but it’s not my native language. I write in English. I do business in English. So why are they making me waste my time, struggling to find the way to switch it back when I didn’t switch it in the first place?

That makes me feel ill at ease about how much information is readily available just from accessing a site. I click and they know I’m looking at their page from Mexico, using Prodigy Infinitum, so they decide to change my subscriptions without asking me? WTF is that? I’m starting to think websites know entirely too much. They’re crossing the line in trying to anticipate my needs. I don’t want some web-bot doing that, just like I don’t want my online content translated without my say so. It’s often like that when people think they’re doing you a favor — by not asking first, half the time they mess up what you had going.

Moving on to the whine portion of our program. Got your cheese handy? Good. My WIP isn’t going well. I’m not feeling it, I don’t want to write it right now. It’s not under contract or anything yet, so I have no obligation to it. I really want to do a sequel to Falling or Good Touch, at this point. I was trying to be smart in a business sense. Guide is sold, my editors want a sequel telling Darnell and Maya’s story. Said they’ll contract on a partial. The other two books aren’t sold, don’t know if they will be. I was going by the “bird in hand beats two in the bush” edict, but my muse thinks this is a lame-ass idea.

When do you guys put a project on hold and move on? Do you force yourself to slog on through something you’re not feeling? Or do you follow your muse wherever she leads? I could use some advice.

It’s Sunday, sunny and 78 degrees. The noche buena tree outside my office is in lush red bloom, likewise the pink and purple bougainvillea growing on the terracotta courtyard wall. On the other side of the garden, the roses are struggling a bit because it’s been dry, but the mandarin orange tree is thriving. So is the palm tree and the aloe vera plant. The hydrangea looks lovely as well. This is one of the things I love about Mexico. Flowers bloom here pretty much all the time.

Since it’s such a pretty day here, I’m gonna give ya’ll something pretty to admire. Without further ado, I give you: hot guys for the hell of it.

These are beautiful men from all ethnicities. I hope you see some old favorites and some new faces that make you go, “Daaaaaaaaaamn, he’s fine.” You’re so welcome.

Here you go. Vin’s my personal long-term crush. I’ve been digging him since I first saw Pitch Black, quite a while ago now. I’m nothing if not loyal. If he’s not sexy enough, find your own hot guy!

Erica nominated me for the prestigious Thinking Blogger Award for this post.

If you aren’t familiar with the Thinking Blogger Award, these are the rules:

1.If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,

2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,

3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

I’ve done the linkage above, that means it’s my turn to tag five people whose blogs have made me think. Ready now? Here we go.

April Martinez — Her blog has a lot of great information regarding cover art and how to make said cover art or how a particular cover came to be. It’s almost always funny on April’s blog, but this post in particular made me stop and think. How do other people perceive us? What does our behavior say about us?

Carrie Lofty — Her blog intersperses tidbits about writing with family life, insights on motherhood, book, music and movie reviews. Very electic, but always thoughtful. Here’s the post that made me think. Laura Kinsale even commented, how cool is that?

Cora Zane — I check her blog pretty much every day because I love her sense of humor. Here’s a post that considers the impact of ebooks vs print books, and I found it quite thought-provoking.

Dionne Galace — She has an irreverent humor that means nothing is off limits. This post was funny as hell, but it also made me think about the way religion influences sexuality. I’m not sure if that was her intent. Dee is kind of an Internet shockjock, but I’m never sorry I read her. She has a mind like a steel trap.

QB — She’s a contest judge and an avid reader of romance. I first went to her blog because she commented on mine (and I try to reciprocate whenever possible). I also add people to my blogrolling if they comment regularly because that’s how I make new blog friends. QB has a great sense of humor and is very knowledgable about the genre. Her insights are priceless. I loved this post. We writers don’t think about the reader’s point of view as much as we could, and I found this insight fascinating.

Well, that’s five. I wish I could nominate everybody on my blogroll, but the meme says five. So ya’ll take your shiny Thinking Blogger Awards and start tagging people.

I didn’t get to post Monday and Random Tuesday was all about the contest, which means my posting schedule is hosed for the week. Since variety is the spice of life and all that, I’m defenestrating the schedule until next week. That means you never know what you’ll find here for the next three days, but I will say this: there’s gonna be some nearly nekkid men on here by Friday.

Anyway, I woke up this morning and put on my ranty-pants, so I’ve got to handle that first. Rejections. There are a lot of schools of thought as to how a writer should deal with them. Some people hide them or immediately throw them away. Some people keep a scrapbook, some people pin them on the wall and throw darts at them. Some people post them on the internet and others keep a running tally of how many they receive. Me, I think it’s important to stay positive and move on. So that person didn’t get your work; someone else will, unless it’s really, heinously bad. I cling to the mantra of that’s one person’s opinion. That mindset helps a lot.

So really, what I want to talk about at this point is the feedback that comes along with a rejection from an agent or editor. Some writers, usually folks just starting out, get all riled up because this person doesn’t send specific feedback, telling her why this precious wondrous gem got rejected. First of all, that’s not in the job description. These people are industry professionals and they don’t get paid to crit. It’s really a yes / no decision. I get that, and I’m perfectly happy with a rejection that just says, “No,” or “Not right for me at this time.”

My gripe is this: rejections with monumentally unhelpful feedback. Like “I couldn’t connect with the characters,” or “The premise was engaging, but ultimately the plot seemed too familiar.” Okay, what? That’s publisher-doublespeak that means, “No.” At the base of it, it simply means no, and the writer can’t do anything with that “feedback” to try and improve her book. She can only drive herself crazy wondering what the hell it means.

The coldest rejection I ever got from an agent, after she’d requested the full was, “I will not be offering you representation at this time.” That’s it, a one line email, maybe a month after I sent the full. I got frostbite from that email, dudes, but it got the job done and I didn’t waste time fretting over it. I actually preferred that one to the touchy-feely note from another agent explaining that she’d been so excited about my book and about the possibility of working with me, but “as it turns out…” See, it’s still a no. All the sugar plums and fairy dust you sprinkle on it doesn’t make it a yes. And yes, the touchy-feely email offered some of that fortune cookie feedback, where you need to be Confucius to decipher it.

Now I know a lot of soft-skinned writers like the touchy-feely feedback, even when it doesn’t actually mean anything because that offers some personal contact, but I prefer a simple rejection. If the person has time to write something I can use, like, “The heroine’s motivation for sheltering a strange man at the start of chapter two needs work,” then I’m all for that. I can do something with that. Otherwise, just tell me no. I’m not Confucius.

Wow, when you’re trying to keep quiet, it becomes a chore! I thought of at least five posts I wanted to make, but I refrained because of the contest. You’re going to be hearing a lot from me in the next few days.

So Guide is out. I put a link in the sidebar, so people can find it. Now the blog can return to its regularly scheduled yammering and ranting.

Mrs. Giggles has already reviewed it (what a sweet lady!) and I feel blessed that she gave the book a 70. I didn’t realize she dislikes chick-lit type books, but I did send her a copy. She expressed interest in my work a few months back, so I hooked her up when the time came. My only comment on the review is this: I’ve never read Bridget Jones or watched the movie, so if I wrote something similar, albeit with hotter sex, it wasn’t a case of emulation. You know what they say about monkeys, typewriters and Shakespeare (not that Guide qualifies as any such thing).

I know you’re all eager to find out who won the 50 bucks. So without further ado…

AMY S, COME ON DOWN!

I need an email from you, ma’am. You won the loot and a copy of Guide, so contact me using the button on the upper left in the sidebar. Let’s descend on Amy’s blog and congratulate her!

There’s a lot more coming this week, but for now, let’s celebrate Amy’s win and Guide’s release. If you read it, be sure to email me and let me know what you thought. See, I have some openings for fangrrls and they get excellent perks. I could also use some haters to provoke the fangrrls. This is a ground floor opportunity with infinite potential (and it doesn’t involve MLM or Tupperware!) Drop me a line, you know you want to.

PS – QB is totally right about blog karma. As soon as I posted the winner to this contest, I got an email from Jason Sizemore of Apex Digest, saying, “congratulations, you’ve won the slipcase edition of WETBONES as part of our Temple: Incarnations promotion.” From this, I extrapolate, hey, I won a free book. Sweet! Thanks, Michele! She pointed me toward Temple in the first place.