| 13 mostly obscene words that make me giggle like I’m in Junior High
1. assclown
Oh the mental images this conjures. You know how people paint faces on their hands and use them as puppets? Yes, go on, make the logical leap. Hah! Got you!
2. slapnuts
I first saw this on Cora Zane’s blog. As in, “my kids are driving me slapnuts.” I love this. Not exactly sure what it means, though. I suspect it means she’s going to nuts with the need to slap ‘em.
3. fucktard
I see this used by Karen Scott a lot, but I don’t think she invented it.
4. bitchness
This is a state of generally unsatisfactory affairs, including one’s mood. I am not sure who coined it. Maybe I did, for all I know.
5. fucknuttery
I see this on SBTB sometimes. I think Amy Winehouse managed to put it in a song, for which she gains my undying admiration.
6. dipshit
This word kills me. When you actually think about the compound words and what they MEAN, it becomes ever so disgusting.
7. fuckwit
I am afraid the FCC prohibits me from articulating the mental images that accompany this word.
8. slaptard
This is just mean, but I’m kinda mean sometimes. I have been told this word has two meanings. In the first instance, it’s a person who’s so stupid you want to slap him. I prefer the second definition, which is the mentally challenged person who walks around slapping his own chest for no apparent reason. This usually indicates a high level of impairment and/or dysfunction so when you call a “normal” person this, it really stings. It also means you’re going straight to hell, but if you’re still reading this list, I think you’re already heading that way, so no worries, eh?
9. hobag
I’m at a loss. Why is she a bag? Does it mean she’s old and a slut? Wow, talk about a double-whammy. But I guess, “You, madame, are both advanced in years and of low moral character!” lacks a certain oomph.
10. slutbucket
I cannot say this aloud without laughing. Go on, try it.
11. asshat
Hahaha, I learned this term as a VERB. In my misspent youth, I played PVP MMOGS (player versus player, massively multiplayer online games) and when you killed somebody, you would use an emote to SIT and put your ass on their faces atop their corpses. This was called asshat-ing them and was highly disrespectful of your fallen foe. However, we who PWND did not CARE about such things as dignity for we were l33t. The term then evolved to include those who perpetrated such villainous behavior. Yes, I am a recovering asshat. I know, I’m in a 12 step for it.
12. bugfuck
Please someone explain this to me. Who actually fucks bugs? My cat eats them, and he humps pretty much anything, but bugs are just too small.
13. kumquat
The jokes on this one just write themselves, don’t they? |
I’ve found that I like using the word fuckery as in “What kind of fuckery is this?”
Yeah, the Amy Winehouse word is fuckery. And hobag obviously refers to your obsession with new purses.
I also like “fuckery”. And “bat-shit crazy” makes me smile.
“Dickitude” is also nice.
Bat-shit crazy is one of my favorites as well. Kinda scary when you consider what I used to do for a living. The phrase figures prominently in something I’m working on at the moment. Every time I type it I giggle like a 12yo.
On a great blog I read, that is also filled with swears, she uses McFuck McFuckington… which makes me giggle everytime I read it.
ROFL!!! I love these! And I’ve found myself saying fucknuts on more than one occasion. :)
Hee. These are fun! I first encountered “fucktards” on Tod Goldberg‘s blog. Worth checking out, btw.
LOL!!! Too too funny. :-D
Abso-fucking-lutely. It’s a great word.
Have you ever eaten a kumquat though?
Ok, I sit corrected. Fuckery is the Amy Winehouse one, not fucknuttery.
I resent that, Carrie. They don’t have to be NEW. Just new to me.
Never heard of dickitude, December/Stacia.
I like bat-shit crazy, Ros. I usually think of one specific person too, when I hear that phrase.
Hm… I think that’s too many Mc’s for me, Miss Frou. I’d suggest Fuckhead McFuckington or something along those lines.
Heh, thanks, christine. I enjoyed compiling my favorite bad words.
Thanks for stopping by, samantha and darla.
No, I’ve never tasted kumquat. (Why does writing that look so dirty?) My dad used to love them, though. (again, why??)
Ive only heard #6…wow, the rest are all new to me…lol…pretty funny though.
So, my 3 year old is sitting next to me and I’m laughing my ass off – and he keeps saying “Why you laughing, Mommy? Me see?” How the hell do I explain that one!!
Slaptard is now my new favorite word.
LMAO at this list. Slaptard is, quite frankly, an inspired word which I plan to add to my vocabulary forthwith.
And may I suggest you add loquat and quince to your list of fruits with almost-obscene names? And if you want to expand beyond fruits to other foods, how about cockles (a type of shellfish)?
“Fucktard” is one of my favourite words ever. Very satisfying to say to someone. I first heard it from Red vs Blue. I also got one of my other favourites from them: “Cockbite.” Best thing in the world is to call someone a cockbiting fucktard. ;-)
You hateful harpies should be ashamed of yourselves, glorifying such foul language. Go on, pat yourselves on the back over learning a new nasty word. I am disgusted! Go on and spread your evil-mindedness into the world and call people these wicked names, you’ll be sorry.
LOL–I’ve got some new words now!!
Hmmm, never heard assclown, slapnuts, or bitchness (except when used as a sub for Her Highness). The rest I’ve used from time to time, although I would add fuckwad to the list because I use that quite frequently- mostly as a pet name for my DH. *;p*
I’ve always assumed bugfuck came about from the terms bugger and butt fuck.
But I would NEVER have guessed the origins of asshat!
As always, dear Annie, visiting your blog is like auditing a master’s level English course! BHAHAHAHA
I like douchegbag, tool, ratfucker and mokeyfuck. But I just like obscenity in general.
I have to say that Fucktard is probably my favorite one up there! It’s just so terribly descriptive!
Yes, indeed, anonymous, we’re wretched bitches, aren’t we?
Funny thing is, I didn’t actually CALL anyone anything with this list. Yet you came up in here and called us all hateful harpies for laughing about a few words that weren’t applied toward anyone at all. Sounds like to me you could use a little thing called a sense of humor, but you’d need to pull your head out of your ass in order to hear the funnies. Then again, I do suppose it’s possible the poor thing’s atrophied from lack of use.
Or maybe anonymous was just pulling our collective chain, Annie.
Personally, I always think bonafide assholes are really comics in disguise…
Fucknuttery.
I got folks sayin’ they never got my email. Have you received any emails from me at all today?
Hehe, let’s give anon the benefit of the doubt, Jac. :)
I got one where you said the excerpt from Wanderlust was very Whedon-y. Think that’s all.
Oh, cool slapnuts made the list. LOL! ^_^ I’ve never heard of some of these, but OMFG Slaptard about killed me.
I like fuckery too. I’ve heard it before, only used like: What in the tom fuckery is this? *clueless*
Today, I called someone a Buttmunch. It’s came out of nowhere, like channeling junior high. I think I will use it again, because it made me laugh.
I know I’m late to the cursing party, but I’ve been utterly swamped with work and study. I have to add my two cents:
I will never forget the line Dennis Farina uttered in Get Shorty:
Fuck you, fuckball.
Just classic. I laugh whenever I feel I must utter it myself.