Carrie and me, on threesomes

Carrie: Samhain is running some sort of Ménage à trois anthology contest. I just can’t think of a situation where I could make it work.

Ann: I can’t imagine writing one. I see it as destructive, tbh. Not hot.

Carrie: It’s just not sexy to me. I mean, the fantasy part–sex with two guys, no strings, no emotions — fine. But that’s impossible.

Ann: Sex with two guys isn’t hot for me at all. Well, the idea, I should say.

Carrie: Would work for me. as a fantasy, mind. I know how it would be in real life, and that’s not sexy. Even if you had two guys who kinda like each other and were bi-curious, they’d still just be pawing the woman in the middle! Get off me. :D

Ann: See, I would be too worried about my butt. You just know somebody has dibs on that in a threesome. I would feel like I was supervising kids, not having hot seks. “What are you doing?! Don’t put that there!”

Carrie: Heh. See, it’s all the eager pawing like that. Poking around. Two men attending to MY needs? That’s ok. But there would be…demands. Not good.

Ann: I think I know men too well to be conned by that fantasy. Two men are NOT looking to selflessly please a woman for hours. They’re looking for somewhere hot and sticky to cram their weenuses.

And there you have it. Our official stance on threesomes. Whadayouthink?

Posted in teh sex

12 Responses to Carrie and me, on threesomes

  1. Carrie Lofty says:

    My caveat: A hot trio in the hands of a good author can be great. Just can’t imagine that in real life, and I certainly can’t write it!

  2. I didn’t see where it necessarily had to be two men and one woman. I know I suck at math, but there are alternative ways to add up to three. :wink:

    But, no, not entering. Haven’t written it, and as far as real life goes, a threesome at my house is when the dog jumps on the bed during…tender moments!

  3. Ann Aguirre says:

    As a real life fantasy, it just doesn’t work for me. And I think it’s hard to hit the right notes in fiction too.

    Often, one of the heroes winds up just being a carbon of the other, or you have two gay men, who for unfathomable reasons, feel like they need a wife to complete them, which is just silly to the Nth power.

    Lainey, I don’t know about the Samhain requirements, but as I understand it, threeomes with two women / one man just don’t sell at all.

    My favorite f/m/f threesome took place in Homer’s imagination in the Simpsons. From Viva La Ned Flanders:

    — [At the breakfast counter, Ned is has a panic attack while Homer gathers some food items onto a tray.]

    Ned: What are we gonna do, Homer? My kids are gonna be traumatized! And then there’s Maude! And then there’sMaude!!

    Homer: I don’t know, Flanders, having two wives could have its advantages.

    [Homer’s imagination conjures up himself lying in a hammock while Marge and the cocktail waitress chop wood and dig a hole, respectively]

    Homer: Chop, chop, dig, dig, chop, chop, dig, dig, chop, chop, dig, dig…

    Marge: You know, Homey, there’s so much more two wives could do for you …

    Homer: I hear digging, but I don’t hear chopping!

  4. Lauren dane says:

    I write em, I read em, done by the right author, I love em.

  5. Bev(QB) says:

    I agree, great fantasy, but in real life I’d be sleeping on the couch cuz of the snoring in stereo.

    Wait… I AM sleeping on the couch because of the snoring! :evil:

  6. bettie` says:

    Loving, romantic, sexy threesomes…meh. But tortured, conflicted, angsty, romantic triangles? Bring ’em!*

    Aside from the obvious pronoun issues, I don’t think I could handle that many protagonists. I’ve a WIP with a hero who has two personalities (one good, one evil, por supuesto). It’s tough to keep them equal, and they’re never even in the same scene at the same time.

    *angsty triangles are great, provided the participants don’t act like big dummies, cause if they do…see meh above.

  7. Shannon C. says:

    Yeah. Threesomes can be hot, when written by the right author, but having seen some of the worst of *real* poly relationships, it takes quite a bit to sell me on even the fantasy. Especially when authors just ignore or gloss over the fact that, in real life, in order to make something like that work, you have to talk. A lot. The hot sexx0rz will only take you so far.

  8. Lorelie says:

    For me, threesomes are something you do when you’re in your wild and crazy days, before you settle down. Maybe in a steady but not serious relationship. Otherwise you’re risking a change in the dynamics of your relationship. Most realistic portrayal of the ups and downs of it is Megan Hart’s Tempted.

    Oh, and there’s not necessarily any what what going down.

    NotthatIknowanythingaboutit.

    ::::whistles:::

    That being said, I lurve me some threesome reading materials. I might be tempted to try and enter if I didn’t already have so much on my plate.

  9. Bonnie Dee says:

    Threesomes with two guys are really hot as a sex fantasy, as erotica, but not what I want to read about if I’m in the mood for serious romance. A real romance can only be between two, imo.

  10. Your site- http://www.annaguirre.com is good resource, tnks, owner. see this sass worm remover
    Good luck.

  11. Kimmie says:

    I see that this blog is over a year old, but I couldn’t resist making my comment. Good writing is good writing, regardless of the subject. MMF poly is the fantastic norm, but there are several other poly arrangements that can be explored.

    If you ever decide to explore a F/M/F poly relationship as research, I would be more that willing to talk to you, so would my husband and wife. I’ve been happily living in one for seven years.

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