Okay, so last night, I had the weirdest dream ever in a long history of weird dreams.
I dreamed I was on this multi-author book tour, and we had our own fancy painted bus (just like the Partridge Family). When the trip first started, we were all:
Hello world, here’s a song that we’re singin’
Come on, get happy
A whole lotta lovin’ is what we’ll be bringin’
We’ll make you happyWe had a dream we’d go travelin’ together
And spread a little lovin’ if we’ll keep movin’ on
Somethin’ always happens whenever we’re together
We get a happy feelin’ when we’re singin’ a songTravelin’ along, there’s a song that we’re singin’
Come on, get happy
A whole lotta lovin’ is what we’ll be bringin’
We’ll make you happyWe’ll make you happy
We’ll make you happy
For a while, everything went just swell. This part of the dream was sort of a movie-montage of all of us running from bookstore to bookstore, signing all the books and singing as we did it. OMGZ. I’m in hell! See, I really, really hate musicals, and here I found myself trapped in one. The horror! I also didn’t get a good look at the people I was traveling with. Oh, and there was cake.
So then we were crossing Arizona or Nevada or some equally desolate desert when our bus driver had a heart attack. Yes, while he was driving the bus. We tried to get him out of the seat and steer to safety, but he was flailing and dying, and he was a big guy. By the time we sorted the situation, the bus went seriously off road and plunged into a shallow ravine. We were all very sad Partridges.
Now the dream gets sort of jumbly. We were all running about like mad and going, “Oh noes, we’re all going to die”. At this point, I identified some of my companions in this nightmare book tour:
Jeri Smith-Ready
Mark Henry
Jackie Kessler
Anton Strout
Meredith Duran
Carrie Lofty
Dakota Cassidy
Gennita Low
Lauren Dane
Those are the ones I’m sure about. There were other people milling around, but I can’t remember their faces for sure. Now some of those people I know well, some I met in passing at RT, some I saw at RT and didn’t talk to. Some I’ve never met at all.
The funniest part about this dream? We were all falling into a terrible panic. We had no food, no water. Death seemed imminent and inescapable.
And then, a leader rose up among us: someone strong and indomitable, cool under crisis, and armed with the most impressive of survival skills. I was in awe of this person’s commanding presence. In catching and filleting scorpions for our dinner, this person put Bear Grylls to shame. Based on those listed, can you guess our fearless leader’s name?
It was SO me. Singing, smiling, and flaying scorpions–it’s my regular AM routine. You freak.
by Carrie Lofty May 3rd, 2008 at 11:57 amSTG, when I saw that list of names, I thought “Jackie Kessler or Carrie Lofty” then, after consideration, I went with my gut reaction— Carrie Lofty, just based on the way that other authors (like you) talk about her. And now, seeing your response, Carrie, I realize I’m probably right– anyone else would have thrown someone else’s name out there, but your response is indicitive of the personality type that WOULD fillet scorpions.
BTW, I LIKE the idea of a tour bus full of authors holding signings all over the country. Make it so, Carrie.
by BevQB May 3rd, 2008 at 2:47 pmGennita Low.
Jest guessing, mind–I know not a one of these people
by azteclady May 3rd, 2008 at 3:15 pmI’m gonna go with Jeri Smith-Ready. Don’t know why.
by Lorelie May 4th, 2008 at 7:37 amI think it was me - I stormed up to the front of the bus, from obscurity and saved the day MacGyver style. Then again, on second thought, maybe I don’t want anything to do with your book tour of death. Change my vote to Fabio.
by Angie Fox May 5th, 2008 at 2:44 pmOh come on, of course it’s me. First, I would be great in a musical horror. Second, I fillet scorpions for breakfast. Third, only I would dare the leader in someone else’s nightmare. Fourth, didn’t I blog about how brave we (you, me, Jeri) were slaying sawdust bunnies in the Hotel of Death in Pittsburgh? I mean, I even mentioned your wielding the axe, Ann! Fifth, if I can’t be the leader, can I be the bus driver? I’ve always wanted to drive a hippy bus with hysterical authors. But only if I’m allowed to burst into song now and then (with Lauren Dane yelling for her hookah in the background).
by Gennita Low May 5th, 2008 at 8:29 pmI can haz hookah?
by Carrie Lofty May 5th, 2008 at 8:30 pmMany great guesses here!
Angie, I’m sorry. I don’t know if you were there at all. If you were there, I don’t remember you.
You guys are killing me. I wonder if Lauren has seen this post…
PS - No hookah for Carrie. You get a hooker instead. Or do I mean the bump-n-grind specialist from RT…?