Comments on: Today’s peeve?

By: camera chat

camera chat — Tue, 25 May 2010 10:41:06 +0000

I liked the message given above. Just remember, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do everything and the wrong way is to keep trying to make everybody else do it the right way. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

By: Ames

Ames — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 15:45:49 +0000

Wow….I don’t think I can add anything to this discussion that hasn’t already been said better. I’ve known some wonderful people who were infertile (and went on to adopt–hell it’s like a tradition in my family), and I’ve known some shitty people who should have never had kids (which has nothing to do with finances. If that was the case, I NEVER should have had kids).

And Michelle….Hugs…Just hugs!!
If I had waited until I could afford children, i never would have had them. And I’ve been that mom on the poverty line. I don’t think you ever forget how difficult it is. Having kids made me a fighter (and probably a better person–there’s nothing that’ll zap the selfish outta ya LOL) and I’ve worked my ass off to give them a better life. But you will never EVER convince me that every woman/person NEEDS a child to complete them *gag* or that they’re incomplete/flawed if they choose to not have a child.

Ok … going away now

By: jennygirl

jennygirl — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 21:37:50 +0000

I completely agree. My cousin had an extrememyl difficult time conceiving, and I think these type of plots tend to make those poeple feel bad and unlucky.
Plus why do they always have to make women become crazy when they do decide to have kids. Some do go overboard but not all.
I also think society puts a lot of pressure on women to have kids. And when you don’t wnat any (like myself) people treat you like you have a disease. It’s an individual’s choice, not society’s.

By: azteclady

azteclady — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 16:02:36 +0000

Agreeing, one hundred percent, both with Ann and with Michele Lee.

By: Michele Lee

Michele Lee — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:33:28 +0000

My $.02? Why do you have to have a child to complete you?

Now, I have two, so maybe I’m not the best person to be speaking on this. But the movie bugged me, just in previews, because of the idea that this successful, smart, lovely character needs a kid to be “happy” and the the poor, low class white trash woman is the one who can just pop them on out. WTF?

I know there are two issues there. Am I the only one who thought the premise was a bit classist? It’s the poor person who is ripping off the better off person, preying on her dreams, and, as it turns out, uselessly (er, according to the plot that is) procreating. I’ve been verbally assaulted because I’m a mom of two and prtty much right on the poverty line. People have nastily told me that I shouldn’t have had my kids if I didn’t already have a well paying, good job.

It’s not that easy and my situation isn’t that simple.

But people should become parents because they want to, because the love children (and teens and babies) not because they think having a baby will fix their relationship or fill that empty place in themselves. Obviously no one here is like that, but I have known people who wanted to have babies because they wanted the attention being pregnant brought, or they wanted someone to love them because they thought their parents didn’t. Or because they wanted to keep their mate.

These are horrible reasons to have a child!

I’m with previous posters, I’d like to see more movie couples adopting, or being happy how they are instead of with super sperm. I’d like to see more fictional (and real life) couples being happy and complete on their own rather than “for the kids”.

Parenthood should not be undertaken on an impulse or on a whim. And happiness shouldn’t be defined by your ability to procreate.

By: Shelby

Shelby — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 23:39:39 +0000

I’m rowing the infertility boat myself, can’t handle the drugs used to treat it, and now I’m almost 41, so I don’t have a lot of hope. As a writer I usually am able to separate my own reality from what’s on the screen or page, but I do have to admit “magic babies” bug me.

Thanks, Ann. (((hug)))

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 22:04:37 +0000

I’m almost 35 and while my spouse and I haven’t tried yet to have a baby, I’m having some reproductive and other health issues which might cause infertility and I’m coming to terms with the fact that I might not have a biological child. I’d love to adopt and the thought of adopting is so fulfilling. I don’t feel like I have to give birth to a child that is genetically mine to be happy. I’m just hoping my chronic health problems don’t also stand in my way of adopting.

By: Ocy

Ocy — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:13:29 +0000

What’s wrong with showing an infertile woman or couple adopting instead of miraculously conceiving?

By: MaryK

MaryK — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 03:51:25 +0000

Exactly. Most of the time I want the heroine to have an HEA in spite of her infertility. Sometimes a miracle baby is a nice device, but if it’s always used it starts to send the message that a baby is required for an HEA. Or worse, that only fertile people are entitled to one.

By: Rosie

Rosie — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 03:06:02 +0000

My husband and I are infertile. We’ve had the joy and good fortune to adopt two boys. For me, I just wish we could see a woman, or couple, in a movie or book who doesn’t have such EXTREME responses to their infertility who faces it together with love, humor and, eventually, acceptance.