I feel like the world needs to know, so I am doing my part, right here, right now, to spread the word. If you doubt his awesomeness, go read this post. You will have no choice but to agree with me before you’re done. (And if you disagree, be sure to come here and troll in my comments. We love trolls here at www.annaguirre.com; they keep our bridges safe.)
See all the pretty books? I’m giving those all away next week. Why? Because Jim C Hines is awesome! I might give them all to one person. Or to eight different people. I’m crazy like that. It will be utter chaos for the next seven days.
To enter to win, you must play a game. How many of you are familiar with Chuck Norris Facts? (If you’re not, click the link. You’ll figure it out.)
We are, of course, doing Jim C. Hines facts here on the blog for the next week. I will start you out with one.
Jim C Hines is so awesome that when he does a book signing, the books line in up the aisles and dance, like the hot dogs on the drive-in movie screen.
ETA: Winner! TJ takes home all the Jim Hines books. Don’t you wish you were TJ right now? Of course you do. TJ, email me your details.
That is such a fabulous article!! Thanks for passing it on.
You’re not entered; you didn’t do a fact! I frown in your general direction. Or, if you already have all this books, I unfrown at you.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that he doesn’t do revisions–when his manuscript needs correction, pruning, or elaboration, he travels back through time to write it the way he wants it the first time.
He’s so clever he knows where all the missing socks are, AND
Jim C. Hines can, in fact, eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Thanks for sharing the article, and spreading the Jim C. Hines love!
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris wears Jim C. Hines pajamas.
^_^
Thanks for linking to that article; I hadn’t seen it before.
Interesting article, and as for Norris fact, they are hilarious. Do I dare tempt one..
Jim C. Hines is so great that he is being stalked by kindles.
Jim C Hines can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Jim C Hines once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Publishing can’t die. Jim C Hines won’t let it. If it dies, he’ll just write it back into being again.
Jim C Hines is so awesome he can write Chuck Norris out of existance
Jim C Hines is so awesome that when he writes his characters jump right out of the books to kick arse!!!
Jim is so shiny that Talia would fall in love with him!
or
After Chuck Norris wrote his Chuck Norris Facts book, he decided to write a Jim C. Hines facts book to outdo himself.
Jim C Hines is so awesome that when he creates a book he just stares at the computer and the words form on the screen… (Kind of like Tommyknockers only more cool).
Jim C Hines is so awesome, he could write a different book with each hand simultaneously, with his eyes shut.
Jim Hines is so awesome that his fans will beat up the Batman fans, because that’s what Taila would do.
Jim Hines books are occasionally delayed due to his day job of scripting dreams for other writers.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome his manuscripts write themselves like something out of the “Fantasia” movie.
Sarah M.
Jim C. Hines is the reason goblin is now a valid race on the 2010 US Census.
Jim Hines does not need to sunmit his books to publishers. They come begging to publish his books all on their own.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome, Chuck Norris, Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, Stephenie Meyer, and John Grisham cower in his presence.
Oooo….I’ve already entered once, but I had to say this one because it entered my mind and was too good (to me anyway) to pass up:
Jim C. Hines doesn’t give his 2 cents, he gives his 2 c-notes.
(it’s funnier if you know a c-note is a term for a $100 bill.)
Jim C. Hines trains heros in his sleep
Jim Hines is so awesome that when he releases a novel, a cadre of fire spiders spontaneously act out the cover art.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that Internet trolls apologize to him.
Jim C. Hines doesn’t write books based on old fairy tales – the fairies wrote tales based on scrying his future.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that they are thinking of changing the word awesome to Jimchines.
The pen is mightier than the fist! Even Chuck Norris is scared of Jim C. Hines!
Jim C Hines is so awesome that never having been exposed to his writing, I feel a humongous need to own all of his books!
9 out of 10 people believe Jim C Hines is the Master of All Double Rainbows.
Jim C. Hines can name that tune in one note.
Jim C. Hines isn’t just faster than a speeding bullet. Bullets simply drop out of the air and fall to the ground before him.
Jim C. Hines isn’t just more powerful than a locomotive. When challenged to a tug of war with Jim, locomotives give up and go home.
Jim C. Hines can’t just leap tall buildings in a single bound. Tall buildings crumble at his feet and he walks over them at his leisure.
Daaaaaaaaamn, Jann just brought it and raised the bar. Top that!
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that now when I see a big spider I think, “Smudge?” instead of “Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”
The Grimm Brothers never actually wrte the original fairy tales. Instead, they read a Jim C. Hines story and stole his characters. That’s how awesome Jim C. Hines is!
Jim Hines created a squared circle and discovered cold fusion. He refuses to tell the world how he managed either.
Jim Hines has moved the immovable object and stopped the unstoppable force.
Jim Hines knows why hot dogs come in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight.
If Jim Hines had either squared the circle or discovered cold fusion, he would most assuredly tell the world how he’d done it. Because that’s how awesome he is.
Unlike Zaphod Beeblebrox, Jim Hines *is* the center of the universe.
Jim C Hines is so awesome blank books jump off the shelves and follow him through the aisles, begging to be written.
Jim C Hines is so awesome his books require 24 hour protection from all the other jealous books.
Jim Hines’s first novel was not Goblin Quest. His real debut novel was so mind-meltingly awesome that, for the sake of public safety, the publishers will only allow it to be sold once a decade the day after a blue moon between 11pm and midnight.
I have all but his newest one! I love him! I LOVE the Goblin trilogy!!!! :)
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that all the other books in the bookstore bow to him and hail him as the High Author King of all Kings!
Jim Hines is so awesome he pretends to be just a really decent, nice guy so that Chuck Norris doesn’t end up unemployed and unemployable.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Skyla Dawn Cameron, Lisa Shearin, Melissa T, Josh Vogt, Ella Toulouse and others. Ella Toulouse said: RT @jimchines: RT @CassandraYorgey Ann Aguirre is giving away ALL of @jimchines books for nothing more than a fake fact! http://bit.ly/9BYhsA [...]
Jim C. Hines is the most sought after guy in the kingdom – all the princesses want to get with him not to mention some of the princes.
Jim C. Hines has already solved the time space continuum BUT is kind enough to let scientists bumble their way through countless theories.
It used to be :
Oh Jim you’re so fine
You’re so fine You blow my mind
Oh Jim
BUT
he was too modest and didn’t want to make a fuss so then it got changed to Oh Mickey
Jim C. Hines and Chuck Norris had a bet. The loser had to wear a cowboy hat on TV.
Jim C. Hines does not write books. He looks harshly at his computer screen and they write themselves out of fear.
Jim C. Hines once fell into the ocean, but he didn’t get wet. The water got Jim C. Hines.
Jim C. Hines does not do research, because reality rearranges itself to suit what he writes.
Wow, Kathleen, you brought it! I love your third one.
Jim Hines is so awesome he can whoop a were-jaguar with his pinky while writing with his toes.
His form is so precise that you can read his stories by watching him practice his kata.
Jim has so much chi that the overflow provides magic for no less than seven fantasy worlds, only two of which consider Jim a minor god. (The other five worship him as the sole deity.)
For you Jim C. Hines worshipers, here’s a real Jim C. Hines factoid:
One late night, a large rock, some green paint, and the initials “NH” got Jim (and associates) in a whole lot of trouble.
Ok, well, a little bit of trouble, as it was sooo amusing!
P.S. Be sure to ask Jim about the forks in the lawn.
If Jim C. Hines and Neil Gaiman were to meet and shake hands, the universe would implode, for the one is the newest regeneration of the other.
Jim C. Hines fathered the Brothers Grimm with Mother Goose.
There is such thing as the monomyth. Jim C. Hines wrote it as an elementary school project.
Jim C. Hines rolls natural 21s on 20-sided dice.
Jim C. Hines wrote Neil Gaiman into existence.
A rattlesnake once bit Jim Hines. After three days of rainbows and unicorns, it turned into a princess.
If Chuck Norris, Mr T, and Neil Gaiman were merged into one world destroying being, Jim Hines would be called in to stop them.
Jim Hines simply walks into Mordor.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that, wait… do I have to even finish this fact? :P
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that he can complete a home improvement project without any unplanned trips to the hardware store.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome, he could take on an army of goblins armed only with a spork.
Jim c. Hines is so awesome, the Old Spice Guy wants to smell like him.
I have all his books, of course. Reading RED HOOD’S REVENGE right now!
Wait, who else knows about the forks in the lawn?
Jim C. Hines introduced the concept of “the arch” to bridge-builders around the nation.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that for him pi = 3.14 exactly, so as not to inconvenience him with irrational numbers.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that no one snickers when he whips out his titanium spork — they only wish they had one.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that his humorous trilogy based on the Iliad and the Odyssey is available only in the original Classical Greek.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that his publisher sends him advances on his royalty statements.
Jim C. Hines is so awesome that he appears in a special edition coffee table book. — Wait, that one’s true. Damn.
Dr. Phil
Don’t enter me… but yes, I must agree, Jim C Hines is awesome. Loved his post-level headed, not condescending and factual.
Jim C. Hines’ books have been translated into EVERY language known and unknown to man, Klingon, elf, nightmare-beast, time lord, you-name-it. Eight new languages were invented just so that publishers could continue printing his books. The missing section of the Rosetta Stone is an Old Solar translation of his very first story.
Jim C Hines doesn’t suffer from writers block. Blocks suffer from Jim C Hines.
:)
Jim C Hines: You should see the other guy.
Jim C Hines can beat Chuck Norris in a fight using only his mind and a spork.
We don’t scream for ice cream. We scream for Jim C. Hines!
Life once gave Jim C. Hines a lemon. He made grape juice.
It was once theorized that particle fusion would occur if Jim C. Hines wrote about it.
Jim C. Hines built the wardrobe that leads to Narnia.
Shakespeare once stole some of Jim C. Hines discarded ideas, we know the results as some of the finest plays in history.
Apollo wanted to grow up to be Jim C. Hines.
Jim C. Hines’ Princess books are so awesome that Disney is shutting down in an admission of defeat.
Jim C. Hines has such an epic knowledge of fairy tales that Jack Zipes, Bruno Bettelheim, and Maria Tatar come to HIM when they have questions about the old stories.
Jim C. Hines could pen a note that could even get Lindsay Lohan out of rehab
Jim C. Hines knows what rhymes with “purple.” And “orange.” And “silver.”
Jim C. Hines can and has divided by zero. The answer was Jim C. Hines
The Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is how many Chuck Norris’ it takes to be equal to one Jim C. Hines book
Sauron closes his eye in fear of Jim C. Hines
Disney characters leave their movies just to have a chance to be mentioned in a Jim C. Hines book