Try some; it's good.
Wherein I ramble about books, movies,
music, TV shows, my life, and occasionally, hot emo boys.
My Books
Current WiP
My ValentineGuide sequel = DONE
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Thursday, November 15, 2007
T13
1. "I miss Elizabeth. I will always miss her. But I ache for Grace."
2. "That's Ren and Stimpy. They're way existential."
3. "Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."
4. "They say most of your brain shuts down in cryo-sleep. All but the primitive side, the animal side. No wonder I'm still awake."
5. "You made three mistakes. First, you took the job. Second, you came light. A four man crew for me? Fucking insulting. But the worst mistake you made...empty gun rack."
5. "Hey, you, on the other side - let her go. Because for her I will cross over, and then you'll be sorry!"
6. "Upset? Is that the word? I used to get upset. When I got a flat tire, when a plane was delayed. I used to get *upset* when the Yankees won the series. So if that's what upset means, what am I feeling now? If you know the word, tell me because I don't."
7. "This place is a mausoleum. If I had my will, I would tear it down brick by brick."
8. "There is a war coming. Are you sure you're on the right side?"
9. "I refuse to play your Chinese food mind games!"
10. "So you didn't want to kill a kid. Welcome to the human race."
11. "Okay, here's the deal, meatball: You let me go, I let you live."
12. "You just said you love me, now if I say I love you and just throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they may and you're lying to me, I'm gonna fuckin' die."
13. "Miss Pascal, I've been odd. I know I've been odd, and I know that there are many forces at work telling me to bring these down here to you, but I brought these for you because... I want you."
How many can you guess?
Add your link below!
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, November 08, 2007
T13
So I have a new crit partner. Her name is Angie Fox, and she writes for Dorchester. Her fantastic debut, The Accidental Demon Slayer, comes out next summer. The book is described as, "Mary Janice Davidson meets Julie Kenner in this hilarious paranormal romance."
What's more, she has a blurb from Stephanie Rowe: "Angie Fox has penned a hilarious, high-octane, paranormal caper. The Accidental Demon Slayer is a highly original frolic filled with brilliantly created characters, countless magical surprises and marvelous plot twists."
Here's an interview where she talks about this book, which one agent said "does for witches what Shaun of the Dead did for zombies."
To take my mind off the latest mystery making the rounds with agents, I decided to write something completely different, a funny paranormal romance where I could build my own world and make up my own rules. I fell in love with the idea of a preschool teacher who is forced to run off with a gang of geriatric biker witches and THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER was born.
Instead of a 20-page plot outline, I had a 5-page list of ideas, one of which included “but little did they know, all the Shoney’s are run by werewolves.” Instead of following the rules, I broke a few. Instead of painstakingly writing over the course of a year, I giggled my way through the book and had a complete manuscript in five months.
How awesome is that?! And I get to read it before any of you. Mwahahaha!
EDIT: Angie has had an unbelievable day! So I'm adding two more blurbs she's received today.
"A demonically delightful paranormal romp. I didn't want it to end!"
--Michelle Rowen, author of Fanged & Fabulous
"As hilarious as it is thrilling, THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER by Angie Fox is one "h-e-double hockey sticks" of a ride.
Like grandma on her hog, I tore through this book at a break-neck speed and loved every minute of it. Quirky characters and hilarious situations make THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER by Angie Fox a devilishly, wicked-fun ride.
Angie Fox "kills" with the humor and quirky, yet sympathetic characters in THE ACCIDENTAL DEMON SLAYER. It's devilishly good fun!"
--NYT bestselling author Tate Hallaway
Did I mention there were five agents dying to sign this woman? And I was lucky enough to have her look at my upcoming urban fantasy release for '09. Sweet!
Without further ado, here are 13 things she said:
1. "I can see why this book was snatched up in a pre-empt. I loved it! Seriously loved it."
2. "I love Corine’s voice. Her humor is just outstanding and is balanced well with action/mystery/magic. I ate this story up."
3. "Chance is delicious. And Jesse. Oh wait, that’s a problem isn’t it? Well, for Corine anyway."
4. "You have a real gift for creating memorable secondary characters."
5. (Over a certain line) "I spit Diet Coke onto my computer keyboard. Thanks a lot."
6. "There are sparks with both guys... I can see a (love) scene between Chance and Corine as being utterly amazing when it happens. And when it happens, I think your readers will root for him even more."
7. "I think you are going to do very, very well with this series."
8. "You have an outrageously compelling book."
9. "Your locations were wonderful."
10. "This book is truly different from the others I’ve read in the genre and that only means good things for you."
11. "I love Corine."
12. "TNFKaGT rocks!"
13. "You are brilliant and I hope you know it."
To quote Goofy, "Aw, garsh."
She also gave me wonderful feedback identifying stuff I need to work on, so when the book releases in its polished form, you'll need to thank Angie.
Add your link below!
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, October 25, 2007
T13
1. Care. Don't underestimate the power of people reaching out to other people. You have blog friends, right? People you check up on now and again. If they posted something that struck you as sort of sad or blue, would you email them? Have you ever? Maybe you think you don't know them well enough, or they won't answer.
Well, I've emailed people I didn't know well. Offered my ear if they needed it. Sometimes I get ignored. I figure they've got their support bases covered, and that's all right with me. But imagine what that email would mean to someone who did need to hear somebody was listening?
2. Stand for something. "A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything." Strong words, right? You know who said them? Malcolm X.
What do you stand for? What are you passionate about? Injustice? Battered women? Starving children? Wars that make the rich richer and tear a country all to hell that's already bleeding from so many wounds and so much loss that it could break a body's heart?
When I was a teenager, I thought it was cool to be uncaring. Blasé. Nothing moved me; I was the ice woman. I could've looked death itself in the eye and said "Fuck you."
Not anymore. These days, I don't want to be around people who care for nothing. Who look away when they see wrongdoing or pretend it doesn't exist. Or doesn't matter because it doesn't apply to them.
I care. But not about being cool.
3. Give back. What do you do for your community? How do you spend your time? No matter how bad off you are, there's almost always somebody who's got it worse. We could all do more, but we don't.
I spent time one summer, living in a homeless mission when I was fourteen. Not because I was homeless but because it was considered a good learning experience. I cooked, I ladled soup, broke bread, cleaned, chewed the fat, and played checkers with men that society had thrown away. I learned from them, even though people would tell you they have nothing worth giving because it can't be weighed or measured. All they had were their stories, but I fucking treasured them.
4. Listen. How often are you really there in a conversation? All the time? Can you say that? Or are you just sitting through their talk-y stuff so you can start rattling again? Are you engaged or just playing the part?
If we don't step outside ourselves and really listen to other people, just put aside our own shit completely, understanding that we will have our time and this is not it, what kind of friends are we? Spouses? Parents? Listening is a dying art.
If everyone truly listened with an open mind, how many arguments would be avoided? But people listen with filters and assumptions and preconceptions. Conclusions are jumped (and they don't like that, let me tell you). Makes 'em right cranky.
I've had friends who didn't have time to be there for me. Not to listen, or whatever I needed. I'm not a needy person. I'm not shouting for emotional support 24/7. But you bet there's a reason why I said "had" friends. Past tense. When people are important to me, I drop everything and spring into action, if they tell me they need me or need to talk. I am there, 100% in the moment.
For someone not to give that back, well, that's like a dropkick in the face. And you can bet I don't give them the chance to let me down again. This ain't baseball, people. Friendship is way more than that, and you just don't let down the ones you care about when they say, "I need you."
When people tell me they're too busy to listen to me or help me when I need it, you know what I hear? "I'm too busy for YOU." People make time for the things that are most important to them. And if I don't make the cut on their list, they sure as shit aren't staying on mine.
5. Don't Assume. We think somebody can't tell us anything new. It's just another old person, or just another Christian or just another...whatever. We've heard all their tired ol' crap before, same song and dance, right?
But how do you know? Can you be sure? If two people in dress clothes come to your door with pamphlets, do you slam the door in their faces without hearing a word? It has to be the Jehovah's Witnesses, so who wants to listen to their crazy asses when people have shit to do?
And maybe 9 times out of 10 it is. Maybe even 99 times out of a 100. But what if that 100th time, it was somebody raising money for literacy. They wanted to show you some statistics on the declining reading levels. When people start slamming doors, it just gets easier and easier, both physically and mentally. New ideas get shut out.
6. Be a philanthropist. I understand, people can't give millions of dollars and get hospital wings named after them. But small donations add up too. If the average person gave $20 a year to their charity of choice, you know how that would add up?
No, you don't get plaques or trophies or your name in lights. But that's not the point. The point is making the world a better place, a place we can be proud to live in.
I donated a book to Equality Now. All proceeds go directly to Amanda Sullivan -- the check gets cut in her name. Whether that's $20 or thousands of dollars, I'm trying to make a difference. Stone Maiden is a particularly appropriate book. Here's what a fan said about the heroine:
Muir: Her quiet strength, loyalty, willingness to sacrifice and absolute faith make her a wonderful heroine. Watching her develop and grow from being totally subservient until she is, for all intents and purposes, the most powerful and important person in two societies, is a beautifully told story. I love the way you portrayed her transition from being a totally subservient woman to one who is powerful and in control yet chooses to give and sacrifice without diminishing her strength and power in any way. She is a remarkable character.
Amanda Sullivan wrote:
"Thank you very much for your support of Equality Now. We are touched that you have chosen to support us in this way, through your work."
And that's enough for me.
7. Be positive. Stay away from people who put you down and don't believe you can succeed.
I believe in sisterhood.
I'd like to see the day when women celebrate each other's achievements and care about each other in a way that doesn't include talking about how fat somebody is, or what a whore she is, or stupid, or untalented, or whatever. I'm talking about personal attacks, mind you. Not whether I like Sally's new book. A book is not a person, no matter what some artsy-fartsy may say about having poured her soul into the thing. Unless she used wormwood, baby blood, and black candles made from the fat of a slaughtered virgin lamb, there ain't no soul inside a book.
And no, you don't want to know how I know that.
Womanhood could be biggest and best club that anybody could belong to, but instead we want to break it down into cliques and go around chattering like we were fifteen again and none too bright. You know what? It's foolishness.
I understand people don't get along, the world is not all rainbows, puppies, and butterfly kisses, but sometimes lines need to be drawn. Why not avoid the people that rub you the wrong way?
I believe in turning the other cheek. Not my face, mind you. I'm not opening myself up to be slapped, if they were dumb enough to do me like that. That'd be my butt cheek, thank you, and if people don't like my message, they can kiss my ass while I walk away.
8. Don't complain. My favorite quote in the whole world expands on this: "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." —Maya Angelou
She's such a wise woman and a great speaker. I don't know what else I can add to this. But I'll try. All the belly-aching in the world never changed anything. If you don't know what to do to make the change you want happen, then you need to figure it out. Because bitching in emails, on the Internet, to your friends, to your preacher, ain't gonna get you nothing but a sore throat and maybe sore fingers.
The woman who complains about her no-good husband all day long never gets shit done until she packs her bag and calls a cab.
Don't talk, act.
And if you feel like you're fucked, no matter what you do, hold your head high and remember, "This too shall pass." Sometimes it's not much comfort I know, but life is constantly evolving. And what seems hopeless today may look brighter tomorrow. All you can do is hold your head up and behave in a way that makes you feel proud of the way you're bearing your own personal load.
I used to envy other people. Wonder why this or that was so easy for them. But I eventually figured out I can't walk anyone's road but mine.
9. Smile. This may sound lame to you, but I've found, if you make yourself, even when you're dying on the inside, things feel a little lighter. People smile back. You stop feeling so alone.
There's some truth in the whole "fake it til you make it" saying. I've come to decide that happiness is more a choice than a butterfly that comes to light magically on your shoulder at its own whim.
Some people could be happy if they had one leg, no shoes, and a walking stick. And some people would complain if they had a bag of gold... cos it was too damn heavy.
I'm not Mary Poppins. I get in shitty moods like anybody else where I'd like to give a priest a finger and ask him why is the world like this if there's really a god who gives a shit about us? But I don't let those moods move in and stay anymore. I make 'em move on by pushing that shit out of my head. And I smile.
10. Love yourself. Fat, thin, black, white, straight, gay, bi, Jewish, Buddhist, whatever. Love what you are, as you are. Because if you have any self-hatred going on, you're gonna transfer that shit to the people who also display the traits you secretly hate about yourself.
Accept yourself 100%, as you are, no wishing you could have smaller hips or bigger tits or shinier hair or whiter teeth. No wishing you could sing or dance, or had a rich daddy. People who do that have a much easier time in taking other people as they come, easy-peasy.
11. Recycle. This is self-explanatory. We are ruining the world we live in, but it's not too late. We can live green and try to reverse the damage we've done. If we care. If we try.
12. Pay it forward. Perpetrate random acts of kindness. Hold the door for someone. Give the guy in line ahead of you that penny he's scrounging for. Smile and say, "Hi, how are you?" to someone you don't know.
When was the last time you did something nice for somebody, just because? Not a family member, either. Just a random person. Can you name the last time? What was it?
13. Keep an open mind. People who stop trying new things, new ideas, well, they stagnate. You know that grouchy old bastard who mumbles about "kids today" and their wild music, and stopped watching TV when Dragnet went off the air? You don't want to wind up that way.
Listen to world music, learn about a new culture, take belly-dancing lessons, learn Russian. Never, ever stop trying to expand your horizons, or one day you may find your world has shrunk to four walls and a roommate who pisses himself.
I'm not saying you won't wind up in a home someday anyway, but at least you'll be the coolest motherfucker up in there, what with your Thai cooking, your tai-chi, belly-dancing, Russian speaking, geriatric ass.
I'm gonna leave y'all with my favorite poem now (about how we lose the "living" in the day-to-day business of our lives) because I've bared my soul tonight, and frankly, I'm feelin' a little emo.
When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple
with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired
and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
and run my stick along the public railings
and make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
and pick the flowers in other people's gardens
and learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
and eat three pounds of sausages at a go
or only bread and pickles for a week
and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.
But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
and pay our rent and not swear in the street
and set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.
But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.
Peace.
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, October 18, 2007
T13
Before you condemn me for this list, I present the following article. Can you imagine America's commander in chief enjoying this kind of humor? Why, it's a US tradition! One that goes back a long way, apparently.
Anyhow, enjoy the jokes.
1. One day a lady went into a fishing shop to buy her husband a fishing pole for his birthday.
She picked up a really nice looking pole and asked the salesman how much it was. The salesman says, "I'm blind but if you give me the pole I can tell how much it is by the weight."
So the lady gives him the pole and he says, "That pole is worth $45." She's amazed at how cheap that is.
So then she picks up another really nice pole, hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is worth $55." She decides that's also really cheap, so maybe she can afford the best in the store.
Next she picks the nicest looking pole in the place and hands it to the man and he says, "This pole is our best and it is $70."
She tells him she'll take it.
As she's getting the pole rung up, she has to fart really, really bad. She decides since the man's blind and can't ID her, it doesn't matter if she farts in front of him so she just lets loose.
All of a sudden the man says, "Your total is $80."
Confused, the lady says to him, "But you said the fishing pole was only $70."
He answers, "It is. It's $70 for the fishing pole and $10 for the duck call."
2. 2 Blokes (Japanese and American) are playing golf. The Japanese guy is getting ready to tee off and suddenly starts talking to his thumb.
American bloke says: "What you doin?"
"Oh, don't worry, with Microtechnology I had a Microphone inserted in my thumb. I was just recording a message."
The 2 men carry on golfing, but all of a sudden the American man makes a funny sound, that amazingly sounds like a fart. The Japanese man looks over at him. 'Oh,' says the American. "Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax."
3. A guy sits in front of TV all day, farting like there's no tomorrow. The wife, understandably is angry as fuck, and says: "One day, honey, you're gonna fart your guts out."
The next Sunday, as wife is preparing a turkey for lunch, Hubbie falls asleep. Wife spies an opportunity to get her own back, so she takes the innards of the turkey and stuff 'em in the boxers her husband is wearing. She then goes back to cooking the turkey. Later on that night, her husband comes to the dinner table looking very frightened.
"What happened?" asks his wife.
"Well," the man says, "you were right. I farted my guts out."
"Oh no!" the wife exclaims. "What'd you do?"
"Well, with the Grace of God and these two fingers, I got 'em all back up in there!"
4. A bloke is taking a piss down a lane when a Copper spots him. "Oi Guvnor, you can't do that here!!! It'll cost you a 45 quid fine."
The bloke gives him a 50 quid note and the Cop says: "But I haven't any change."
"No worries, you can keep it," says the bloke..."cos I dropped a couple of farts as well."
5. How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If she farts, her ankles swell.
6. "Darling," says a husband coyly to his wife one evening, "I'm in the mood for something different. Let's swap positions tonight."
"What a good idea," she replies. "You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart."
7. What is Green and Smelly? Hulk farts...
8. What's invisible and smells like carrots? Bunny farts.
9. A man goes to visit his doctor and says, "Doc, I've got a rather embarrassing problem, my farts just don't sound right."
"Well, how do they sound?" inquires the doctor.
"They make a HONDA sound."
The doctor looks puzzled. "Hmm, is there anything else I should know?"
"Well, I also have a terrible boil on my arse," replies the man.
The doctor looks pleased. "That's it then. We'll lance that boil and you'll see a difference immediately."
"Why's that then, Doc?" asks the man.
"It's well known," laughs the Doctor, "Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
10. One day around Christmas time, an Avon lady was soliciting her products in an apartment building. She had just got on the elevator to go to the top floor when she had an overwhelming urge to fart. Seeing as how there was no one else in the elevator she decided to let it rip. It was the most intensely disgusting fart she had ever smelled. She quickly sprayed a new pine scented air freshener with the intent of covering up the smell of the fart.
An older lady got on at the next floor, turned very red in the face and quickly got off on the next floor, so she decided to spray a little more of the air freshener. Two floors later a drunk man got on but did not seem overly distracted by the smell.
She took the opportunity to advertise her product. She said, "Excuse me sir, but I’d like to ask you what you think of our new line of Christmas Scent air fresheners?"
He sniffed the air intensely, hiccuped, and said, "Smells to me like somebody shit a Christmas tree."
11. What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
12. What did the maxi-pad say to the fart?
"You are the wind beneath my wings."
13. And finally, what fart list would be complete without this? Oops, I Farted Again - the super flatulent mega-hit!
EDIT: Bonus joke, best of the best! In order to get the full effect, you must imagine it's being told by your extremely genteel grandmother (As related in comments by Kelly McCrady):
Queen Elizabeth was out riding with a friend, on a rather flatulent horse. On a slow part of the trail, her horse broke wind, and being the lady she is, she apologized.
The gentleman turned to her and said, "That's quite all right, Your Majesty. I thought it was your horse."
Admit it, you laughed at a couple of those.
Leave your link below!
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, October 11, 2007
T13
1. dirty sock2. dead cricket
3. live cricket
4. clean sock
5. pair of black tights
6. a small lizard
7. one old slipper
8. stuffed skunk
9. my new shoe
10. a baby turtle
11. a shredded roll of toilet paper
12. one mangled plastic bag
13. string of beads
And a partridge in a pear tree. My cats fancy themselves mighty hunters, so won't you "ooh" and "ahh" over their prowess? Amazingly enough, the turtle suffered no ill effects (even though he was missing for days and endured a frightening stint as a kitty toy). Never fear, Splish has been returned to his aquarium and is doing fine.
No turtles or lizards were harmed in the making of this post. Sadly, one cricket did not survive.
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, October 04, 2007
t13
1. We shared a room at National in Dallas.
2. We kept each other up until stupid o'clock, giggling.
3. She can make me laugh just by saying "Turk!" in a particular accent.
4. The airline lost her luggage on the way to Dallas and she spent the first day worrying she'd have to wear a Killers t-shirt for four days. (And do all her pitches in it too!) Happily, they found her stuff, and she rocked the house at National; both her pitches resulted in requests for mss.
5. She's written an absolutely amazing historical romance, called Redeeming Will Scarlet.
6. She was inspired by Christian Slater in Prince of Thieves.
7. There are some super action scenes in this book, unbelievably vivid, and with almost cinematic color / clarity. Even if you don't ordinarily like historicals, you'll want to check this one out. It's on a whole 'nother level.
8. Did I mention her hero is hawt? Will is burn-the-house down hawt.
9. Her heroine, Meg, is mean as a sack of snakes, and I love her. She's strong, unique, and fabulous -- she's an alchemist! How cool is that? The historical detail is so kickass. I mean, all the cool shit Meg does in the book is all scientifically accurate. Oh, and she's blind. Carrie does a freakin' amazing job compensating, writing for her other senses. The whole book is astonishingly raw and sensual.
10. The love scenes are swoon-worthy. Exhibit A:
“Kiss me,” he said, hearing a plea buried in his command.Daaaaaaaamn, right? What a punch she packs with that question.
“Where?”
“By the saints.”
He closed his eyes, hammered by the thrill of her question. A shuddering breath did not douse his ardor. Pain and pleasure blurred the boundary between waking and dreaming...
11. Carrie recently signed with Caren Johnson, who also reps the lovely & talented Caridad Ferrer. (Yes, the one who won the RITA.)
12. As if you aren't already dying to get your hands on Redeeming Will Scarlet, here's a snippet of what Susan Wiggs (yes, you read that right!) said about the book: "Readers will delight in this inventive foray into a legendary place..."
13. And finally, here's the important bit: she recently made a two-book deal with Hilary Sares / Kensington Books for Redeeming Will Scarlet and a sequel. Redeeming Will Scarlet hits bookshelves as a Zebra Debut in September '08. Go Carrie!
Make sure you stop by her blog to show her T13 some love today.
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, September 20, 2007
T13
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1. The difference between a hissy fit and a conniption fit. 2. How many fish or collards greens make up a mess. 3. What direction cattywumpus is. 4. That "gimme sugar" don't mean pass the sugar. 5. When somebody's "fixin" to do something, it could take 5 minutes or 2 weeks. 6. What "Well I Suwannee !!" means. 7. A good dog is worth its weight in gold. 8. Real gravy don't come from the store. 9. When "by and by" is. 10. How to handle their "pot likker". 11. The difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and trailer trash. 12. What "jack-leg" means. 13. That the best comfort in times of trouble is a plate of fried chicken and a big bowl of potato salad. If the trouble is real dire, they add banana puddin'. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, September 13, 2007
T13
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These are all books that made my heart clench for various reasons as I read them. That's what a keeper does, makes me feel something. Sadly I no longer have eleven of them, as I lost them in the flood. I'll set about replacing them as I can. 1. Archangel by Sharon Shinn 2. Sunshine by Robin McKinley 3. Seize the Fire by Laura Kinsale 4. Bet Me by Jennifer Crusie 5. Once in Every Life by Kristin Hannah 6. Son of the Morning by Linda Howard 7. Autumn Rain by Anita Mills 8. Once in a Blue Moon by Penelope Williamson 9. All Through the Night by Connie Brockway 10. Bliss by Judy Cuevas 11. Finding Home by Bonnie Dee and Lauren Baker 12. Mad World by Pepper Espinoza 13. The Dream Hunter by Laura Kinsale What makes a book a keeper? Well, I'm talking about that here. And running a contest as well, so you might want to stop by and lend your thoughts to the discussion. This one closes at Saturday midnight, so don't miss out on the chance for a free book. What titles are keepers for you? |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, August 30, 2007
T13
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 1. It has stories written by Bonnie Dee, Dionne Galace, and me. 2. They're hot. 3. Exhibit A from Waking Kitty by Dionne Galace "Damn it, Kitty. What did I say?" 4. Exhibit B from The Straw Man by Bonnie Dee He stood on her porch, broad-shouldered and raw-boned, looking at her with those exotic, soulful eyes. "You only asked for one night." 5. Exhibit C from Seven Days by ...well, me "Kiss me, Tess." 6. There are no secret babies. 7. Three delicious, exotic heroes. You won't believe how much so until you read it. 8. One truly unique heroine. 9. Writing so yummy it makes your toes curl. No, not mine. Although if your toes curl over my story, I'd love to know about it. Put My Toes Curled! in the subject line and I'll squee like a pretty, pretty princess. 10. A cover so sensual and decadent you could stare at it for days. Don't mind if I do... 11. Stories that are erotic without being full of improbable unsexy sex. No tab A, slot B stuff in here. 12. There's no what-what in the butt, where the heroine screams like a cat in heat and acts as if she's riding the Orgasmatron.  13. The baby bunny really wants you to buy Boundless. Can you say no to this face? You can get your copy Sept 3. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, August 23, 2007
T13
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Got your attention, didn't I? As an author, you'd think I would be against free books on principle, but nope, no way. I'm all for anything that gets people reading. See, once you get 'em started, it becomes a habit. They want more, and then I'm perfectly placed to hook them up. I'm watch you call a threshold literary pusher. Yeah, you got that right. I'm your friendly neighborhood book-crack dealer. Why do you think it says on the excerpt pages of my website: "Your first taste is free"? I aim to make y'all story junkies, who can't get enough of what I got. But in the meantime, I'll help you find some free reads. 1. Shareware eBooks They don't have a huge selection, but the most important part is... free! You might be surprised at the books in the romance section. I found Pleasure for Pleasure here, which I understand is awesome. And their reader is gorgeous; it looks like an actual book on your computer screen with turning pages and everything. They also have the complete works of Andrew Lang, which is quite wonderful. 2. Paperback Swap All you pay is postage. You send books; you get books back. This is a beautiful system, and you can request certain ones, I believe. 3. Title Trader This site works like Paperback Swap, but you can also trade movies and games as well. 4. SF-Books Another swap site, but this one specializes in SF and Fantasy with some horror as well. Joining is free, and you earn credits for each book you send out. That allows you to ask for any book you want on the site. 5. Enter contests. You should enter every contest you can. Why? Because the prize is usually a free book, or sometimes a gift certificate that will allow you to pick out books for free. Yay! 6. Join the staff of a review site. You'll get your pick of new releases. 7. Project Gutenberg Over 20,000 free books just waiting for you to download and stash on your PDA. I snagged the complete works of Cory Doctorow on there and took them on vacation with me. There's a lot of classics on here, but there are other hidden gems as well. For instance, did you know that A.A. Milne wrote a detective novel in 1922? It's called The Red House Mystery. You can find it here. He wrote this dedication: TO JOHN VINE MILNE You can see the gentle good humor that he imbued to his much beloved Winnie the Pooh stories. It's worth a look. 8. Become a beta reader. This means befriending an author and eventually saying ever-so-casually, "I wouldn't mind beta-reading for you." This doesn't mean critique. A beta reader is unaffiliated with publishing, and is only required to give a reaction to the book. Say what worked or didn't work. Why. Sometimes beta readers notice things that writers / editors don't. Common sense type things, like if a faerie character is allergic to iron, but has no problem riding in cars. 9. Internet Public Library This has some interesting stuff on it. I'm partial to the Cowboy Poets and the translated works of female authors writing before 1700. Lots of obscure treasures to be uncovered. 10. Check author websites for a "free reads" page. Many of us offer free stories just to reward readers for visiting. 11. Baen Free Library Anyone who wishes can read these titles online -- no conditions, no strings attached. (Later we may ask for an extremely simple, name and email only, registration. ) Or, if you prefer, you can download the books in one of several formats. Again, with no conditions or strings attached.And it's just that simple. 12. ManyBooks Over 17,000 free books, including The Rainbow and Women in Love by DH Lawrence. I like the Banned Books section. It's amusing to see what knobheads have objected to. What in the world is wrong with The Call of the Wild? I read that in grade school. They also have a large, yummy Pulp section, so if you love Robert E. Howard and his contemporaries, you can find lots of goodies here. 13. Bookins Another swap site. Can you ever have too many? They offer flat-rate shipping. Hope you've learned something and get a good free read shortly. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, August 02, 2007
T13 - things I don't do anymore
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1. Eat raw cookie dough. 2. Argue with crazy people. 3. Waste time on the Internet. 4. Resent spending time with my kids when I need to be writing. 5. Take things for granted. 6. Have multiple piercings. 7. Dye my hair on a whim. 8. Key someone's car in the parking lot if they've pissed me off. 9. Wear socks. 10. Spend hours and hours browsing in bookstores. 11. Feel intimidated by people I perceive as more successful. I'll get there, just give me time. 12. Regret anything. Life is too short. Sure, we've all made bad calls, taken the stupid road, but I'm happy where I am. 13. Try to change the world. I can't do it by myself, so I'll do what I can to make a difference. Speaking of which, I need to get cracking on my Nothing But Red submission. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, July 26, 2007
T13: what's new with me?
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1. I'm about to hire publicist(s). 2. I've confirmed that I will attend OmegaCon as an author panelist. That's in Birmingham, March 14-16, 2008. Since I'm a complete and total geek, this thrills me to no end. I went to sf/f cons in college all the time. I never dreamed I'd be sitting alongside the likes of Alan Dean Foster, David Drake, Ben Bova, Steven Brust, David Weber, Eric Flint, and Sherrilyn Kenyon. How excited am I? You have no idea. 3. I'm compiling a FAQ to give to my talented web designer, Deena Warner. I have a number of questions already, but if you have inquiries about my process or my writing, email them to me at ann.aguirre @ gmail.com. Take out the spaces. Once I get that sorted, it will be added to my website as a new page. 4. In the same vein, we'll be adding an Appearances page to my website. It boggles my mind that anybody might turn up to see me, but you never know. If the ladies of #1 have aught to say about it, you lot will show up in droves. 5. I came up with an awesome promotional giveaway idea. No, I'm not telling you what it is. I need to run it by my editor, who will then check with marketing. They may say my "awesome" idea is actually awful. 6. My agent said it was pretty cool, though. 7. The trip to Europe has been postponed. As our summer family vacation, we're spending a week at a villa in Cozumel instead. 8. We're spending Christmas in Europe this year. 9. I took a picture of my two cats that I'm going to send to ICanHasCheezburger. Stop laughing; this is BIG, I tellz u. Now I just has to think of a perfect capshun. Andres says, "We will do it Caturday." 10. My new clothing finally arrived. Too late for the conference, but oh well. The sexy pink bra is actually better than pictured. 11. I had to call my driver to get to UPS, and it took better than an hour to claim my parcel. Jorge stopped seven times to ask directions. We were starting to think it was a myth -- the paquetería promised land. 12. My second box of books arrived from Amazon. Mmm, Jim Butcher... 13. I'm running three contests, simultaneously. I don't think I've ever done that before. But at least I'm not as crazy as this guy. I lived right up the road from his shop when I was in Indy. Nice! |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, June 28, 2007
T13
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1. He brings home flowers for no reason. 2. When I IM him in the middle of the day with questions like, "should they steal a ship or be rescued by space pirates" he doesn't miss a beat. 3. On rainy days when we go out, he walks me to the passenger side of the car and leaves the umbrella with me, then runs around to his side. 4. On those same rainy days, he drops me off at the door of wherever we're going, and then parks the car. 5. If he's tired and/or grumpy and thus short with me, he always says he's sorry. 6. He watched Legally Blonde with me. 7. After ten years, he still asks me out on dates. And he listens when we're together. 8. When I came out of the bedroom on our anniversary, he said without looking at me, "You look nice." As I came closer and he saw me, he amended that to, "You look pretty." Then as I went past him down the stairs, he breathed, "You look really pretty." 9. He tells me he's proud of me. 10. On Tuesday nights, we sit and hold hands in the dark. 11. Late at night when I'm writing in bed, he rolls over, kisses the nape of my neck, and mumbles, "You're beautiful." 12. He still ogles me. 13. Even though he's busy at work, he always calls me in the middle of the day to find how I am or if I need anything. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, June 14, 2007
T13
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Note: If your name isn't on the list, don't go away hurt. I may not have read your books. If your name is on here, I didn't rank my picks in any fashion. 1. Bonnie Dee Ever since I first read Bone Deep, I've been in love with this woman's writing. I could smell the air when she described the carnival on page one. 2. Amie Stuart I actually bought Once in a Blue Moon at the same time as Bone Deep. Talk about being blessed twice over. I came away from that shopping spree thinking Liquid Silver must be the best epub ever to have writers like this. 3. Shannon Stacey I love her sense of humor, which I first saw in Twice Upon a Roadtrip. I think she's going places. 4. Elaine Corvidae I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this woman's writing. I'm far from impartial, as she and I have been off-and-on crit partners for more years than I care to contemplate. She writes for Mundania Press, and she was doing kick-ass faeries before the Melissa Marrs or Holly Blacks of this world ever thought up the notion. I love all her books, but I especially love her Shadow Fae series, oh, and The Ghost Eater, and... well, just buy one of her books, dammit. Start with this one. 5. Sara Dennis I started out by reading Stacking the Deck for review, and I ate up her backlist. She has a nice, vivid writing style. 6. Selah March She sent me Dirty Shame, and now I'm a fan. At the risk of tooting my own horn, she writes stories the way I would, except I don't have to go to all the trouble of doing it, and I can just enjoy hers. My one complaint? Her books to date haven't been long enough! 7. Bridget Midway I've read several of her stories, including That's What Friends Are For, and Love My Way. Her books are smart-n-sexy. 8. Lauren Dane I read book four of her Chase brothers series, and not only did it stand alone, but Making Chase made me want to read the other three, right away. You know that special Nora Roberts feeling you get from each and every one of her books? Lauren's got that too, an indefinable magic. 9. Shelby Reed I have no words for how much I loved The Fifth Favor and A Fine Work of Art. I'm not quite so sold on her paranormals. I've also been privileged to read one of her unpublished works, entitled Liar's Moon at the time. That was an amazing novel, and I don't know what the hell happened to it. It was better than Sharon Sala, seasoned with SEP. Shelby's writing just sparkles. I was judging a contest she entered, a coon's age ago, and her story won, I'm pleased to say. What's the deal, anyway? I haven't heard a peep about new deals, and I've been expecting great things, any minute now. 10. Jacqueline Meadows She wrote two great stories, Something Wicked and Something Wanton, for Ellora's Cave, about a PI named Desdemona, who is also a witch. I ate those like crackerjacks, and wanted more, but her website seems to be two years out of date. Anyone know what happened to her? 11. Katherine Allred I first read her as Amethyst Ames. I know, I know. Despite the colorful moniker, the novel kicked ass. Undercover Mistress, I believe it was called. Gruff, antisocial hero named Angus -- how I loved him. Swoon. Now she's writing amazing stuff for Cerridwen under her own name. Books like The Sweet Gum Tree. Why isn't she famous already? Damn. The publishing world needs to ask my opinion more, clearly. 12. Diana Bold She rocked my world with her historical, Nobody's Hero. I promptly bought up everything she's ever written. If you're looking for Laura Kinsale's successor, keep your eyes on this woman. She writes the same type of heavy, angsty yet utterly delicious historicals. 13. Dionne Galace I've been blessed to read a few of her stories, and she's quite brilliant. The amazing thing about her writing is the way her personality shines forth, imbuing her characters with a singular charm. She too is going places. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, June 07, 2007
T13: the anti-promo
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 1. The heroine, Addie, is neither a virgin, nor orgasmically challenged. In fact, she's a former slut, who fully intends to return to her slutful state once she sorts out a few familial and financial problems. 2. No alpha hero. Just a sweet guy who cooks, listens, and knows how to fuck. And really, what's the point of that? Why would you want to read about a beta like Sean? Men are weak unless they call the heroine a bitch at least once and practically pee on her to mark territory. Right? RIGHT? 3. Addie doesn't want kids. Seriously. No babies of her own. No secret desire to adopt doe-eyed orphans from Somalia. She's not a normal heroine. Run away! 4. Sex doesn't conform to the formula. While it's smokin' hot, it probably won't be what you expect. You'll be shocked and titillated. Better not risk it. 5. Addie doesn't rely on Sean to solve her problems. She has her shit handled and isn't looking for a white knight (or a secret billionaire) to sweep her off her feet. 6. Addie has tried women. Yes, you read that right. She really is a slut. She touched girl parts on purpose. 7. The book features "beautiful writing" and "gorgeous, evocative imagery." In a romance novel?! Pshaw. Everyone knows romance novels are the lowest of genre fiction. Mystery is always beating up Romance and calling it a whore. 8. Your Alibi features a healthy, loving relationship between Addie and her best friend, Lorene. What? A supportive friend who isn't secretly jealous of the heroine's all around awesomeness? One who doesn't matchmake at stupid / inappropriate times? A best friend who isn't a gay man obsessed with makeovers?! The devil, you say. No, really. It's true. Don't read it. The shock might kill you. 9. Sean's cheating soon-to-be ex-wife isn't a villainess. Don't get too close to this book. The crazy idea that people are just people, all of whom are fallible and imperfect, might rub off. 10. It has penguins in it. 11. Sean doesn't suffer from commitment anxiety. In fact, he's a big, gentle bear, terrified of being released into the wild. No, the hero isn't a bad boy. Definitely don't read this. It's too weird. 12. Your Alibi suffers from a serious lack of angst. Though the characters have issues, they're of the "suck it up and deal" mentality. I know -- that just won't do. Proactive problem solving in lieu of pointless complaining counts as a deal-breaker. 13. The hero and heroine aren't witches, warlocks, vampires, or werewolves. They're not famous, fabulously wealthy, or incredibly beautiful. This is a book about normal people with real problems. I'm just not sure you can handle it. However, if you choose to disregard my warnings, you can acquire Your Alibi from Liquid Silver Books on June 25th. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Thursday 13
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1. A fax machine 2. Printer 3. Speakers 4. My monitor 5. Scented candles 6. A crystal angel my daughter bought me in Tequisquiapan 7. A star my son made me for mother's day 8. An antique perfume bottle my husband bought me because he loves me 9. My address book 10. My welcome packet to RWA 11. A pink headband 12. My raspberry "chocolate" LG cell phone 13. An antique ring box that holds my wedding rings There's more crap because I need to clean my desk, but that's where I'm stopping. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Thursday 13
As I read about the Triskelion trainwreck on various sites, especially Smart Bitches, who apparently have GONE TOO FAR, I am saddened. Authors pointing fingers, saying crazy shit they'll be sorry for later. That's when it occurs to me -- we're missing something special here in Romancelandia. We need a credo, a code of ethics to guide our behavior. Christians have this, right? And that's offered such comfort and guidance to so many lost souls that I was inspired. You see, I read all the sane, sensible things NR had to say.
Yes, bitches, I have solved all your moral and ethical dilemmas. Without further ado, I present to you... WWND?
Today's 13 will help you understand the credo of WWND? Feel free to steal my graphic and display it proudly on your site if you can get on board with Romancelandia's new religion. All you have to do, when you question the right way to respond, is stop and ask yourself...WWND? About to call someone a stank, cottage-cheese bellied whore on the Intarweb? WWND! Thinking of writing a long blog post about how your editor is a stupid cunt? WWND!
Yes, bitches, I have solved all your moral and ethical dilemmas. Without further ado, I present to you... WWND?
Today's 13 will help you understand the credo of WWND? Feel free to steal my graphic and display it proudly on your site if you can get on board with Romancelandia's new religion. All you have to do, when you question the right way to respond, is stop and ask yourself...WWND? About to call someone a stank, cottage-cheese bellied whore on the Intarweb? WWND! Thinking of writing a long blog post about how your editor is a stupid cunt? WWND!
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1. Respond to criticism by saying, "I'm laughing all the way to the bank!" 2. Boast of her success in public, period. 3. Point at someone and say, "You should be ashamed!" because this person expressed an opinion. 4. Post sensitive personal information where it might be leaked. 5. Use said personal issues as an excuse for why the job isn't getting done. 6. Deliver a setdown that isn't actually a setdown. 7. Tell someone to "hang their head" over Internet nonsense. 8. Claim that 200 people she's never met are just like family to her. 9. Depart from professionalism where her writing is concerned. 10. Call people names who don't agree with her. 11. Stick with a publisher who isn't paying her. 12. Try to use pathos to soften people toward her point of view. 13. Blind herself to the facts. |
Labels: Thursday 13
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Thursday 13
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1. When I first got Gmail, I couldn't figure out why they advertised Spam so much. They were always offering me recipes, right? Maybe a year later, I realized those only popped up when I got into my Spam folder. 2. I wrote a long, heartfelt email to someone, thanking her for her time and effort on my behalf. And then she wrote back telling me she didn't know what I was talking about. I looked at the email address. Oh, right. I meant to click the one below her on the drop down. 3. In the same vein, I had multiple Firefox tabs open. In one tab, I was writing an email, answering a personal question from one of my best friends. It was, shall we say, intimate? In the other tab, I was writing a book review. The review wound up sent to my best friend and the TMI email went to a reviewer who doesn't know me from Adam. Say it with me: d'oh! I'm just glad I didn't email the whole list! 4. In college, I locked my keys in the car with the motor running. 5. Earlier that year, I was run over by my own car and no one was driving it. 6. When giving birth to my son, I said, "The sonogram showed him weighing nearly 10 pounds. I don't think he's gonna fit." Twenty hours of excruciating labor later, the doctors agreed. They performed a C-section. Don't you hate when people don't listen? 7. My son went for a llama ride while we were in Puebla. He wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl. I asked, "Es macho or sombra?" instead of "Es macho or embra?" So I asked the guide if Alek was riding a male or a shadow. Isn't it awesome? I can now embarrass myself in two languages. 8. It is not a good idea to leave a child alone with Silly Putty, even just to run to the mailbox. 9. I discovered that my adorable kittens chewed through the antenna on my husband's new Wii. (Don't worry, I bought him a PS3 for his b-day.) 10. Sex in public is not as exciting as it sounds, particularly when you're interrupted by a policeman. 11. Peanut M&Ms will fit up a four-year-old's nose, but you have to wait until they melt to get them out again. Mmmm, chocolate-y boogers. 12. Backing out of the drive without remembering to open the gate. Oops. 13. A routine shopping trip here became a "three-hour tour" after I got turned around. It took us ages to get home and I didn't have a cell phone on me. |
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Thursday, May 03, 2007
Thursday 13
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1. I apparently didn't want a male agent. I didn't consciously set out to exclude Y chromosome professionals, but I just didn't query any men. Why is that? Maybe I thought, deep down, they can't really "get" the romance genre, even if they rep it? I think I'm a female chauvinist! Oops. 2. Crazy people sometimes wind up in a powerful position. 3. Aforementioned crazy people have given signs of said ailment before, such as the Rooster Incident of 1996. 4. It's possible to waste a whole day, rubbernecking at an Internet Kerfluffle. 5. I have even less self-discipline than I thought I had (which was almost none). 6. My children have found an entirely new and inappropriate use for maple syrup. 7. A "writer" stalked a man, slept with him, and conducted a passionate one-way love affair with him, and then wrote letters to her husband about it. Instead of calling in the medical professionals, she published the results of her humiliation as a "literary experiment." 8. Guide got a B+ from Gwen at The Good, the Bad, and the Unread. 9. Tara Marie was pleasantly surprised as well. I don't know why, but I'm always happily startled when someone tells me they enjoyed my work, or hell, even when they buy it, for that matter. I'm like, "Me? Really? Cool!" I don't think I'll ever get over that. It's such an enormous compliment that someone would spend time and/or money on something I produced. 10. Megan Frampton said she bought my book. See #9 for why this delights and astonishes me. 11. RT didn't back up Laura Baumbach, a m/m author, when the Hyatt flexed its homophobic muscles. I guess it doesn't count as love if it's not breeder-based. 12. Smart Bitches has some imitators: The Book Bitches, started in November '05. Candy and Sarah started up in Jan '05, and I think they do it better. 13. No matter how stupid a position is, you can always find an Internet troll dumb enough to support it. Or maybe, an alternative -- you can always count on the crazylady to create ten sock puppets that appear to support whatever insanity she espouses. |
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Thursday, April 26, 2007
Thursday 13
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1. Even though I don't craft, I'm totally into people who do. I special order my soap from a woman who makes homemade bars with luscious fragrances. My favorite so far is the Pumpkin Spice. 2. I collect stained glass pieces and scented candles. 3. I enjoy wasting time on Ebay, looking for unique handcrafted items. I want a distressed, vintage suitcase that has something unique painted on it. I believe they call this shabby-chic. 4. I lust for purses and handbags the way some women jones for shoes. I just bought a homemade bag from a lady in the UK. The faux fur looks like pink and white cowhide and it's lined in black satin. I'm going to tote my Ibook around in it.  5. This is my dog, Daisy. She's part basset hound, part dachsund, and she's okay. A few weeks back, her stitches tore, but she's healing fine and driving us all crazy. 6. Daisy is my husband's bitch, and she gets really riled up when he kisses me. 7. I have two male mixed Siamese cats, named Don Quixote and Dulcineo. We thought at first that Dulce was a girl because he had really small testicles. Turns out they're both male, but I think Dulce is gay because he's always humping his brother. 8. My first designer handbag was DKNY. 9. My favorite purse is by Coach. 10. I want a Juicy bag, a pink velour thing that's over the top girlie. I don't care, I want it anyway. 11. I have a Prada bag I've never used. 12. I prefer quirky vintage bags that I am sure I will never find on anyone else's arm.  13. I totally covet this bag (it's a pineapple!) and don't you think it would be awesome for the beach? But I think Andres might hurt me if I bought it. |
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